Just Out of Reach
by Sango-Chan 101
Summary: Envy loses everything in a matter of minutes. He thought death was the worst that could happen... Edward watches it all go down and is forced to confront his definition of humanity. How did it come to this? An alternative plot line for Fullmetal Alchemist. Background details are a mash up of both versions of the anime.
1. Chapter 1

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I've been contemplating writing this for a while. I have become obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist recently, more specifically Envy. I love his character, so I wanted to play around with him. How would he react to certain situations?**

 **Just a warning, I jump around with the two anime's plot lines, mixing them up and what not. There could be spoilers if you haven't seen them, but I will be veering off that road quite a bit. Any and all reviews are appreciated! Enjoy!**

 _Edward POV_

I clumped down the stairs, feeling the braid of hair thump against my back, the wood of the banister under my palm, and the slight brush of wind that blew through the open window on my exposed skin. It's funny. Sometimes, like this moment, I could feel everything acutely, every single sensation, right down to the touch of my pants on my legs. Other times, I would feel nothing.

That numbness came shortly after I placed my feet on the bottom stair.

Standing there, I could see Winry's back, her light blond hair falling gently down behind her. Her arms were moving in a rhythmic pattern. The sound of a brush running through hair was the only noise. When she heard me come down, she turned slightly to see who it was. In her hand, emerald-tinted strands of hair were visible.

Those strands of hair were what made the numbness take hold of me.

 _How did we get here?_

"Ed?" Winry stared at me, concerned.

I smiled weakly, shook my head. I didn't really want to talk about it. I didn't feel that I could talk about it.

My childhood friend released the hair and walked over to me. Her movement revealed the source of my unease, a tall, lanky body, to which the green locks were attached. The strands Winry had been combing through fell onto a bare shoulder.

I couldn't decide what I wanted to do to that shoulder. I could place a hand on it, a comforting gesture, or I could punch it, popping it out of socket. I couldn't decide-

And the effect was this paralyzing numbness.

"Ed, what's wrong?" Winry's brow creased further.

A gentle laugh came from the body in the chair, grabbing the attention of my friend. She went back over to him, bending down so that she could see up in his face.

"Are you going to talk now?" Winry looked at the man-if you could call him one-with hopeful concern. She wanted to help him, and that was the only reason he was here.

At least that's what I told myself.

Silence was the only reply she received. After a moment, she sighed and left him alone once more. She came over to me and leaned in close, whispering, "I'm concerned that he doesn't _want_ to get better."

"Why does that matter? We should have just left him where we found him. You know what he's done," I said.

"Edward! He's not that person anymore."

"Yeah, and he hates that he's not. So how does that make him better?"

Winry glared at me. Her mouth opened, probably to give me some smart ass retort, but she was cut off.

"I can't stand listening to you people argue. Either stop butting heads or just get it over with and kill me." Envy ran his hand through his long locks, a clear sign of stress, and snorted. "Children."

He never looked at us.

We both stared at him. It was the most we had heard from the guy in the week that he had been staying with us.

 _How did we get here?_

I suppose I should explain. I won't start from the very beginning, that would take far too long. But I can start from where it all went wrong. Well, wrong for Envy.

The homunculus had become completely consumed by the hatred he harbored for my father. He ignored every other engagement, every responsibility he had to go about his own way, carry out his own plans. Nothing else mattered but finding a way to end my father's life, and you could see that in his eyes. It was the little bubble of light that could be mistaken for inspiration or mirth. If you knew him, you knew it was perfect insanity.

The thing about being totally focused is that you don't pay attention to anything else. Not even enough attention to spare to cover your tracks. It made him extremely predictable.

So we followed him for a while, waiting for an opportunity to step in. I was not concerned for my father's safety, but Envy had to go. He was the enemy. Even if he wasn't actively coming after us, he was a weapon of the one who was. At any moment, they could rein him in and send him sniffing after us once more. If we can't manage to take out the active duty soldiers, we could at least weaken them by taking away their reserves when they weren't looking.

We tracked him all around the country, but he decided to spend quite a bit of time in Dante's mansion. We had watched him go in, and didn't see hide nor hair of him for a week.

"Maybe we missed something," Al was saying on that seventh day. "Did you fall asleep while on watch?"

"Of course not! He hasn't left that building," I assured him. I hadn't fallen asleep, but I wasn't so sure he hadn't somehow escaped without our noticing. Maybe he had finally fallen back into line.

"I'm not so sure about that..." Red glowing orbs stared at the curtained windows.

I didn't see many options. "Well then let's go in and find out for sure."

Al gasped. "But brother... We don't know what's in there. We could be walking into a trap."

"Or it could be nothing. So..." I walked towards the house, hearing the clang of Al's footsteps behind me a few moments later.

The door opened easily, no one inside ever bothering to lock it. The house was nice, just as I remembered it. Tall ceilings, quaint decorations in some rooms, fantastical ones in others. It was a perfect blend of money and country. In other circumstances I would have liked being in a place like this. Not today, not with this reason.

My brother and I gradually made our way up the levels of the house, inspecting every nook and cranny, trying to find some evidence that the bastard was still in there. However, nothing showed any proof that _anyone_ had been living in that house for quite some time. Dust collected on every surface, beds remained perfectly made, everything was in its place.

After finishing the last room in the house, finding nothing, I turned to Al. "Well, hell, Al. It doesn't look like he was _ever_ in here."

He looked at me, and I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to formulate some sort of answer to this mystery. "But we saw him come in this house. He had to have gone somewhere in here, touched something... But if we spend too much time investigating, he could slip out. Maybe he's been walking around us the entire time and has already left." The more he rambled the more I could hear the desperation in his voice. He wanted an answer but could not think of a plausible one.

Just then, an idea clicked in my brain. "Does this house have a basement?"

"The only doors I saw on the first level were the ones leading to the kitchen and the office."

"Just because you didn't _see_ a door doesn't mean it doesn't exist." I propelled myself down the flights of stairs we had climbed, running away with this small lead. The sin probably would enjoy dank, dark places like a basement rather than a well lit, comfortable living space.

Downstairs I began inspecting the walls, trying to find some sort of secret switch or something to that effect. I knocked on the walls, trying to see if any of it was hollow. I told Al to go look in the kitchen and the study, so we could find something quickly. My hopes began to fade as everything seemed to be solid. No switch, no hollow echo from behind the walls, nothing.

I was contemplating smashing a hole through the floor when Al called my name loudly from the study. I rushed into the room. "Find something?"

He simply pointed in front of himself. I moved a bit farther into the room until I saw what it was that he was trying to show me. He had moved a rather large bookcase, revealing a door sized hole. There was an opening in the floor, a ladder leading downward. I stared at it. I had been expecting something much more ostentatious.

Without really thinking about what I would do once I got down there, I moved to the ladder and began descending into the room below. Al followed after he failed to stop me. I knew we should probably stop to make a plan, but we were _so close._ I didn't want to wait and risk losing him. It didn't occur to me that this very ladder would be the way he would have to come to escape.

I stepped off the last rung and looked around. There was enough space for Al and I to stand, though that didn't leave any personal space, and a rather ornate door. There wasn't much lighting, but I could see the intricate carving in the wood and an equally fancy brass doorknob.

 _What the hell?_

I reached forward and pushed open the door. Light blasted into the small space, blinding me momentarily. After a moment, my eyes refocused and I was able to take in my surroundings. No wonder the ladder had taken so long to get down. The room was huge! The walls seemed to reach high into the heavens, each framed in beautifully carved crown moldings and floor runners. Pillars, banisters protecting balconies, doors all around. Something told me the basement was larger than the house.

Envy stood in the middle of the room, staring directly at me, a smirk on his face.

I growled his name into the space between us.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up, pipsqueak." His scratchy voice echoed.

I glared at him. He called me that so often, sometimes I thought he had forgotten my actual name. I wasted no time with pleasantries and ran straight for the homunculus. I chose my favorite weapon, transmuting my automail into a blade. The sin stood completely still, not moving from that cocky stance until the very last second. I barely saw his muscles tense as he pushed himself to my left side, a strange maneuver since that allowed the perfect opportunity for me to just continue bringing my swing around instead of having to pull back and create new momentum. I quickly realized that this was exactly what he wanted me to do. Unfortunately, I didn't think quick enough to stop myself. He stepped back, landing just out of my reach. His hand snaked out and grabbed my metal wrist, and yanked me to him.

His androgynous body was flush up against mine as he stared down into my eyes. "I thought you would have known better by now. Charging at me is only going to get you hurt."

"Brother!" Al's metal footsteps were loud behind me. He was making the same mistake I was.

I didn't realize my wrist had been released until it was too late. Envy backed up and planted a well aimed kick right into my abdomen. My body flew backwards, but abruptly stopped when I slammed into Al. My tailbone hit first, sending shock waves of pain up my spine. My back straightened out, causing my head to make contact with the sharp point of Al's chest. Then Al's body gave, and he fell backwards, taking me with him. I rolled off him, onto my side. A familiar warmth was spreading over the back of my head and I knew it was bleeding heavily. Drops of my blood ran down my scalp, followed the line of my jaw, then dripped onto the floor beneath me. My head was spinning.

Envy's laughter resounded through the large room. "You're both idiots! It's just amazing how you both make the same mistake, one right after the other. You have to be trying to be this stupid."

"Brother, are you alright?" Al was trying to help me sit up, but I didn't want to lift my head. It would only make the spinning worse.

"Oh, come on. Don't don't tell me you're finished already. You've been following me for this long, I figured we'd have some sort of showdown." The taunting nature of Envy's words got under my skin.

I found the resolve to get up. Once on my knees, my stomach somersaulted. It bothered me that I was already this weak. One kick to the stomach from this guy and I was ready to tap out.

"We should go," Al advised from beside me.

I scoffed. "We just got here. No way."

"But-"

I clapped my hands together, then placed them on the ground in front of me. I watched with some satisfaction as the slightest bit of nervousness spread across Envy's face. I could be transmuting anything and he didn't have much time to figure out where it was going to come from. Rock fists came up from the ground, one on each side of the homunculus. The goal was the smash his pretty little face between the two, but he was too quick. He ducked under the alchemic creations and ran straight for me, eyes hungry for blood.

Al jumped in front of me and attempted a swing at him. Envy maneuvered around his swing and pushed Al so hard that he fell and skid half way across the room.

"Alphonse!" I knew Al couldn't feel pain, but I still worried about him. Anything could happen...

"Pay attention, pipsqueak!" That was all I heard before Envy's foot got real friendly with my cheekbone. I fell back onto my side, only for a second before another kick sent me flying once more. I crashed into one of the pillars, my body wrapping around it, the wind gone completely out of me. I just laid there, shaking in pain. It was all I could do, even as I heard my enemy's quiet footsteps behind me.

A loud crash, complete with the crumbling of walls and the sound of many pairs of feet hitting the ground, startled me. That clearly wasn't something Al did. _Was it?_ I turned my body around, groaning. What I saw, startled me.

Lust and Wrath stood on either side of Dante, Gluttony in the front. Perhaps he was the one who smashed through the wall instead of taking the door?

Dante's voice was so quiet, I almost couldn't hear her. "Gluttony, we could have just opened the door."

 _Oh, I guess I was right._

Gluttony looked up at her like a dog caught doing something he knows is wrong, a rock hanging from mouth.

Dante sighed. "Oh well. I suppose I can fix this later. " She turned her sights on Envy, who was standing as far away from her as possible without being up against the wall.

That was when I noticed Envy's face. He was... He was _scared._ The homunculus refused to look away from its master. I wasn't sure if he was shaking or if I was.

"Oh, Envy. Why did you come here?" Dante looked at the sin like he was a foolish child. "You had to know that I would come back eventually."

"I didn't really think it would be so soon." Envy had attempted to pull his usual swagger back, but it was clear he was struggling. "I figured I was being smart. You'd think it was too obvious. Guess not."

Dante touched her hands together. The ground beneath Envy shot upwards, throwing him at Dante's feet. He looked up at her with uncontrolled fear.

 _Why is he so afraid of her? Aren't they on the same side?_

I grabbed onto the ledge on the pillar created from the impact of my body to pull myself up. That's when I saw the array under Envy. At first I assumed it was the same array used to weaken the homunculi, but upon further study of the lines I realized it was completely different. What was this for?

Al jogged over to me and became my crutch. I appreciated the help standing.

"We need to leave, Brother," he said.

Before I could agree and talk through a plan of escape, the array began to glow and Envy's throaty scream bounced off every wall. It was like looking at a train wreck. You can't look away because it's horrifying, yet beautiful in its own way. It's something that you won't likely see that many times in your life. So you stare, dumbstruck, frozen.

I have no idea how long it lasted. Seconds, maybe minutes, most likely not hours... But I couldn't tell for sure. Finally, the glow died, and Envy lay on the ground, completely still and silent.

"Did she... kill him?" Al asked, horrified.

"I don't know." I stared at the body. _Why would she kill him?_

Then Envy moved. So he wasn't dead.

 _What was that then?_

He shuffled around on the floor, touching his arms, torso and legs, as if checking to see if everything was there. When he got to his left thigh, his whole body jerked, and he screamed.

The thing about that scream was that it wasn't from pain.

It was from sheer horror.

"What did you _do_?" Envy yelled at his master.

Dante laughed. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to."

The other homunculi stared in fascination. They were entirely amazed.

Envy screamed once more, long and loud. "What have you done?!"

And he ran out through the whole Dante and her entourage had come through.


	2. Chapter 2

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I know this just came out of the blue after a long period of nothing from me. I am considering starting back up with a few of my other stories as well. If you're one of my usual readers, let me know if you like that idea! If you're new to me, maybe check out my other work!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

I ran. My legs were pushing me as far as they could in each stride. I tried not to notice that I was moving much slower than I was used to.

 _This isn't happening._

I slammed my eyes shut and shook my head. I needed to wake up, and it needed to happen now.

Since I wasn't watching where I was going, and my senses were more than impaired, my exposed toes caught a rather large rock and sent me rocketing to the ground. My body skid across the forest floor, scraping every inch of my skin that touched the dirt. I laid there, waiting for my cuts to heal up.

But they didn't.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, wincing. The scrapes weren't that bad, but I was unused to dealing with pain for an extended amount of time. I stared at the blood as it ran down from my knee to where the red mark of the ouroboros should be.

Bringing that fact to the front of my mind once more, I screamed. My fingers raked across my scalp and grabbed fistfuls of my green locks. I pulled hard and felt a few strands snap loose from my head.

 _This isn't happening._

I put my head in between my bloody knees. The world was spinning around me and I had nothing to hold on to. I was in the worst position, confused, alone... _helpless._ I had become the thing I hated most and I had no idea how to handle it. Tears welled up in my eyes and fell onto my cheeks, and I didn't care if anyone saw me.

"I don't want to be human," I sobbed.

A pulsing pain began in my head, probably a result of my crying. I was thinking that it couldn't get any worse when I felt the first couple of drops on my shoulders. The drizzle turned into a downpour, quickly soaking my clothing and hair. The emerald strands turned black and fell into my face as my headband slid from its usual place, pulled down by the added weight of the water. My locks stuck to my cheeks, shoulders, and back, almost feeling like arms wrapping protectively around me. I slouched back onto my side, curling in on myself miserably, my body shaking from my despair and now the cold.

I stayed there, in my little ball of misery, hoping that something would come along and take me away from this terrible place. I did not want to live in this world if I had to do it human.

I got my wish.

A swift kick to the back of the head sent stars dancing across my vision. My headache got ten times worse, bringing nausea to the party. A hand grabbed a lump of my hair, bringing me up to eye level with my attacker. I hoped they would just get it over with and kill me quickly. I had never felt like that in my life, and I didn't enjoy it one bit.

 _Why would the younger Elric brother want to come back to_ this _?_

I surprised myself with that thought. Why, in a time like this, would I think of the Elric brothers?

"Look at me, you abomination."

I hadn't realized my eyes were shut. I slowly opened them, only to close them once more. Of course it would be him. Of course.

"Look at me!"

Scar's deep voice invaded my ears, echoing over and over again. I couldn't open my eyes. It took too much effort, energy that I didn't have. Something deep inside me stirred, urging me to fight so that I would have a chance at survival. The monster that was my despair did a fantastic job at keeping that part of me at bay, away from the decision-making part of me. I did nothing, just hung from Scar's grasp like a dead body. I would be one soon enough, anyway. Might as well practice.

My attacker growled at my lack of response, then threw his knee into my midsection. My lungs heaved, struggling to bring air back into themselves. The air hitched in my throat, causing me to cough. That wasn't much help for my breathless condition.

Just when I thought I was going to regain my breathing, I felt a white hot pain in my stomach.

A bullet. Scar had shot me.

I screamed out in pain.

"How does it feel, homunculus? I want you to feel the pain that so many of my people felt in the war that _you_ started."

I didn't know what hurt more, the pain from the gunshot wound or the fact that he called me something I could no longer claim to be.

 _Just make it stop. Please. End it._

Another bullet lodged itself into my shoulder, earning the Ishbalan another scream from me.

"I will give you a moment to pray."

That almost made me laugh, despite the great amount of pain I was in. Pray? Did he honestly believe me to be a religious man? I was a beast, a _monster._ Even if there was a god, there was no way he would love something like me.

"Scar!"

The familiar voice sounded so out of place that I assumed I was dreaming. I must have passed out from the pain. Hopefully that meant Scar would end it soon. I opened my eyes just a little, only to confirm that what I heard was what I thought it was.

It was none other than the Fullmetal Pipsqueak, Edward Elric. I had looked up just in time to see the flash of blue light from Edward's alchemy, and the resulting rock spear shooting from the ground beneath Scar. The Ishbalan dodged it easily, fully expecting that old Elric trick.

"What, you are protecting this monster now?" Scar seemed as surprised as I felt.

"No, definitely not. I wouldn't have stopped you if you were anyone else." Edward stared hard at his adversary. He was definitely not concerned with me in the least.

Scar glanced over at me for a quick second, then turned back to the alchemist. Without a word, his slammed his hand into the ground, sending up a mist of dirt and rock bits, hiding himself.

Edward covered his eyes and coughed loudly. When he caught his breath and lifted his lids, his opponent was gone.

"Damn it!" he yelled. He was about to run after the man, reckless as ever, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Brother, stop!" The younger Elric had finally caught up. "You have no idea which way he went. There's no point in chasing him now."

"Al, I can catch him! He can't be far!"

"No! You weren't prepared to fight him anyway. That's not why we came this way."

"I'm always ready to fight him." Edward's words sounded tough, but he had stopped pushing against his brother's grip.

I dragged in a labored breath, and felt something wet leak into my windpipe. I hacked loudly, blood splattering on the ground next to me. I groaned, having momentarily forgotten about my injuries. Apparently, I was awake. The only solace I had was in the fact that I would most likely bleed to death soon.

"Ed, look at him." It was a feminine voice this time. _Who...?_

"Just leave him. He's going to die soon anyway." Edward sounded far away.

"That's my point. We can't leave him like that."

"And just why the hell not?"

It was Alphonse that said it, finally setting it in stone. Hearing him say it was worse than hearing it in my mind.

"He's human."

I blacked out.

 _Get up!_

I ignored the voice.

 _Get up, I said!_

I rolled onto my side, trying to block out the noise.

 _Get the hell up!_

I opened my eyes and turned to glare at the voice's owner. My glare was wiped away instantly when I saw who it was.

It was me.

 _Well you're awake now, at least. Now stand up!_

I obeyed, dumbstruck and unable to think of any other option. Of course I would listen to myself.

 _Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's pathetic._

That's when I remembered what happened, remembered my...state of being.

 _"_ I'm a human, pathetic is all I can be."

 _You're full of it. Your body may be human, but at your core you are still the same Envy you were before. Where is your cocky attitude? The aura of complete control you always carried with you? Where is my control?!_

"It died with the rest of me."

 _Stop it!_

I had nothing else to say to myself, and I didn't want to hear anything else from him. I didn't question where the gun in my hand had come from as I leveled it with his head.

 _You can't get rid of me! I'm a homunculus! I'm you!_

"Shut up!" I shouted as I pulled the trigger. Just as the bullet pierced his head, I jerked awake, lunging forward.

My wounds screamed at me, and I screamed at them, falling onto my back in pain.

"Stop moving! It's only going to make things worse." It was the feminine voice again.

"Let him. He deserves so much more than the pain he's in. He deserves death." That was the pipsqueak, grumpy as always.

"Ed," the woman chastised him. "How can you say that? He's human now. It doesn't matter what he's done before."

The little alchemist started a snobby reply, but was cut off by the woman. She ignored him and turned her focus back to me. "Hey, don't listen to him. I'm in charge of you, and I'm going to help you."

I allowed my eyes to flutter open. The blond woman's face took up all of my vision. I recognized her now. She was the shorty's automail engineer. I couldn't recall her name...

"Can you hear me?" she asked me.

I had just been staring at her, so she must have assumed I was fading out of consciousness. If only... I turned my head away and glared at the wood of the cart I had just realized we were riding in.

"I'll take that as a yes... You know, you don't have to hate me. I'm only trying to help..." She sounded sad. After a moment, she began again, her voice strong. "You don't have to thank me, you don't have to be grateful in the least, but I will save your life. So deal with it."

And that was the last thing anyone said to me the entire ride to the little town of Resembool.


	3. Chapter 3

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I hope you are all enjoying the story so far. I am having a lot of fun writing it!**

 **Happy reading!**

 _Edward POV_

The day we brought Envy into our home was an interesting one. The guy seemed so out of place in the small country setting. He was dirty, every part of him caked in blood and mud, and his hair had giant knots all throughout it. His skimpy clothing had a few rips and tears. And of course there were the bullet holes.

The cart we had been riding in brought us up to the house. Winry, Al, and I jumped out of the cart. Al grabbed the suitcases Winry and I had with us. I thanked my brother and was about to go inside the house when I felt a tug on my sleeve.

Winry had grabbed it, holding me in place. "Ed, we have to bring him inside. I can't lift the guy."

I scowled at her. "You really expect me to-"

She cut me off, a completely irritated expression on her face. "I don't want to hear it, Ed. We've been over this. You don't have to like what I'm doing, but that's not going to stop me. I asked you to help _me_ , not him. Now bring him inside!" She stormed off past me, walking into the house.

Al looked between Winry and I for a moment before trotting off behind her.

I sighed and looked over at Envy. He clearly hadn't been paying any attention to us because his eyes were closed. His breathing was labored and there was a sheen of sweat covering all of his exposed skin. He definitely didn't look good.

My legs brought me over to the cart. I hopped back in and knelt next to him. "Hey, Envy. You still alive?"

He attempted to even out his breathing as he turned to glare up at me. That was all the response I got.

"You're not going to speak? We did just save your life, you know."

His glare was steady, though I could still tell he was in a lot of pain. There was something more in his eyes, but I couldn't quite name it. It seemed to be the thing he was trying to hide with this half-assed macho-man act.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

I put my metal arm under his shoulders and my flesh arm under his knees. Without so much as a warning to him, I lifted him up, bringing myself into a standing position. He groaned in protest, a hand coming up to the wound in his shoulder. The one that had been shot was resting against the plated part of my shoulder, so that couldn't be comfortable.

 _Good._

He was difficult to carry. Not only was he heavy, but he was larger than me. It was probably quite an awkward scene to look at.

Somehow I made it up the stairs and into the house with Envy. Winry directed me to the couch, where I roughly dropped him. That earned a yelp and a growl from him, bringing a smile to my face.

"You could be more gentle, you know," Winry chastised.

"I brought him in here as a favor to you. Being gentle would have been a favor to him, and he gets nothing from me." I went over and sat in the chair next to the couch.

Al came to stand next to me. "Brother, you're doing it again."

"What am I doing?"

"Being rude for no reason."

I ignored my brother's comment.

Winry walked over to the couch with an armful of medical supplies. Envy stared at her apprehensively as she bent down next to him.

"I'm going to fix your wounds, okay?" Winry gave him a moment to answer, but the guy did nothing but stare. She sighed and continued. "You're lucky you were shot from so close because the bullets definitely went right through you. That means we don't have to dig them out. But you are going to need stitches, so please bear with me."

Envy's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Other than that, there was no change in his demeanor.

"Well then, let's get started." Winry picked up a bottle of rubbing alcohol showed it to Envy. "I'm going to pour this on your wound to help clean it so it doesn't get infected, okay? It's going to sting." She gave him a second to register that, then tipped the bottle, spilling some of its clear contents onto the bullet hole.

Envy's back arched and his head jerked back. His eyes were ready to pop out of their sockets. A loud, guttural scream ripped up his throat. This only lasted for a short moment. He laid back down and closed his eyes tight, shaking from the remnants of the pain.

I couldn't help but smirk.

Alphonse turned and left the room, heading out the front door.

Winry continued to patch up Envy's wound, explaining what each step was, what was being used, and how it would make him feel. It was as if she was talking to a child. She finished up his shoulder and repeated the process with the almost identical wound in his stomach. After that, she checked the other various scrapes on his body, dabbing an alcohol soaked rag on them, making sure none of them needed stitches. She was concerned about the one on the back of his head, apparently the result of a hard kick, but wasn't sure it needed stitches. She explained to Envy that she would keep an eye on that one and make sure it healed properly.

"Okay, now you need to get cleaned up." Winry gazed at the now-bandaged man. "You probably can't stand as of right now. Maybe we'll just clean off the worst of it, and then you can get a real shower when you're able to do that yourself. You probably don't want any of us helping you with that." She stood up, walked over to the sink, filled a bowl with water, then came back to kneel by the couch. She soaked a clean rag in the water, then began gently rubbing it on Envy's arm. She made quick work of it, removing most of the dirt and dried blood from his body.

The engineer turned back to her patient. "There, doesn't that feel better?"

He stared at her, as he had been doing the entire time, but there was something different about this stare. The hate that had been ever-present in his eyes had faded, replaced with something like... _surrender._

Winry stared back for a moment, contemplating what to do next. "Oh, I know! Here, give me this." She reached out and grabbed the headband that had fallen down around his neck, gently removing it. She threw it at me. "Edward, go clean this. For _me._ "

I grumbled to myself as I stood up and took the hairpiece over to the sink. "She's gonna abuse that loophole until it's dead on the floor." I turned the water on and put the band under the stream, rubbing the flakes of dirt away. I inspected the design on it, wondering at its significance. I had never really paid much attention to the clothing that the once-homunculus had worn. Drying it as best I could, I brought it back over to Winry.

She was busy running a brush through Envy's hair. She was being as gentle as she could, but some tangles just had to be ripped out. Envy didn't move, even when the worst of tangles was pulled out. I sat back down in my chair, revealing his face to me. He was asleep, breathing slowly.

Winry looked at me, continuing to brush her patient's hair. "What happened to him?"

XXXXX

Four days passed in about the same manner. I carried on my normal routine of eating, sleeping, and sparring with Al. Occassionally, Al and I would sit down and pass around ideas of how to deal with Dante. She was planning something and we weren't really sure what. We contemplated asking Envy, but that idea quickly lost steam. He slept away most of the day, and even when he was awake he wouldn't speak. Winry spent most of her hours doting on Envy. I saw the motherly side of her, a side I didn't really believe existed. It was nice to see, even if it was my enemy she was taking care of.

On the fifth day, I came downstairs to find Envy standing in front of the couch. It surprised me. He had been stuck horizontal the entire time he had been staying with us.

Winry came in from the kitchen, saying something to me about my automail. She stopped mid-sentence when she saw him. "Envy! What are you doing up?" The girl ran over to him, putting her hand on his arm gently. She stared at him and looked him up and down, taking in his condition. Then she smiled. "Well, since you can stand, you can probably get a shower. It's upstairs. Can you walk by yourself?"

Envy glanced over at the stairs. He eyeballed them for a long moment before moving towards them. He limped at a steady pace, his breathing becoming somewhat labored. He had made it up three stairs when he fell to his knees, gripping the the hand rail to keep himself from falling completely onto his face. I could see the muscles in his legs attempt to push himself up but as he did, he brought his hand to the bandage on his stomach. It seemed that he had decided to stay put.

My childhood friend looked at me. "Help him up there," she mouthed.

I glared, but I listened to her. I walked over to the struggling sin and grabbed his elbow, planning to lift him to his feet so I could get better leverage to pick him up.

His hand snaked out and slapped me across the face. Hard.

I was stunned. He hadn't so much as poked anyone since he had gotten here. The most he had done was give me dirty looks.

My vision went red. No one had done anything but help him since we found him and here he was, slapping me. I pulled my arm back and balled my metal digits into a fist. Just as I was about to swing at his jaw, an armored hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the stairs.

"Brother!" Al shouted, keeping a tight grip on me. "Stop!"

"He hit me first!" I defended.

"That's just childish."

I glared, boiling inside over the fact that my _younger_ brother had called me childish.

Winry came over to Envy, putting a hand exactly where I had. "Envy, you need help getting up the steps. You're healing better than I thought you would. You're standing and walking! That's great! But let someone help you up those stairs."

Again, Envy just stared.

Winry sighed, but she began bringing him to his feet. Surprisingly, he let her. She put herself under his arm and helped him limp up the rest of the steps. Once at the top, she led him to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she joined Al and I back on the first floor.

"Is he going to be alright up there by himself?" Al inquired.

She looked at me as she spoke to my brother. "As long as _somebody_ leaves him alone, I think he'll be just fine."


	4. Chapter 4

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **So, I am a little mad. I had this chapter all typed up and ready to go, so I hit submit document and it asked me to log in. When I did, the whole chapter was gone... Ugh. That's what I get for typing directly into the Document Manager instead of in a word processor. But have I learned my lesson? Nope. :3**

 **Anyway, so I've retyped it here for you. This story is just too fun to give up on! I really enjoy it! I apologize if it's a little shorter than you'd like. I'm not sure I can redo everything I wrote before, and it needs to end where I have it.**

 **Of course they aren't required but any and all reviews are appreciated! I'd just like to hear your opinion about where I'm taking the story. I've got some big plans and I'm not sure how you all will take it. :)**

 **Alright, blab over. Enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

The room was already filled with steam, as I had turned the temperature to its maximum. The warm air curled around me almost protectively. I attempted to pick out the individual drops from the stream.I stuck my hand under the scalding water. It was painful, but I didn't pull my arm away. I was fascinated by the way my skin changed from a pale white to a bright red.

After the initial moment of wonder was over, the pain came through and I jerked my hand back, cradling it against my chest, and used my other hand to turn the temperature down. The contact with my crop top made me remember the pile of clothes the girl had set on the counter for me. She must have gotten them from one of the brothers, which bothered me immensely.

Removing my clothes proved to be a difficult task. It took me a couple of minutes to peel off my top and skort, caked as they were with blood and mud. My gloves and socks were much easier. The girl hadn't given me my headband back and I hadn't exactly asked for it... I looked from the clothing to my outfit. Two _very_ different styles. Even though I disliked the items, I recognized the meaning of the gesture. She seemed to care...

I shoved my head into the stream, turning my face up into it. That was a road I didn't feel like going down. I decided to focus on the feel of the heated water, warming me from the outside in. I wouldn't be able to stay there for long. My bandages were already soaked. I quickly washed the filth from my body. It felt amazing. I gave myself a few more moments to feel the relaxing water rush over me before I finished up my business and stepped out of the shower.

My eyes went to the clothing once more. I decided against them, then looked to my usual outfit. Their state was less than ideal for wearing, so the only option was to wash them.

I stuck them under some cold water and did as best I could to remove the dirt. Once the water rolling off the pieces ceased to be brown, I held up my clothes, inspecting my work. I was satisfied with the results. The only problem was that they were wet.

 _Guess I'll have to wait for them to dry._

A knock on the door grabbed my attention. The engineer's voice came from the other side. "You doing alright in there?"

I just stared at the door.

"You're not going to wear my father's clothing, are you?"

So they didn't belong to either of the brothers, but instead her father. That made them a little less revolting, but I still didn't like the look of them.

She took my silence as a negative. "Well, wrap a towel around yourself and I'll have one of the boys wash them while I change your bandages."

I didn't really see any other option, so I wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the bathroom door.

I watched her watch me.

Her eyes broke the stare first. She pushed me inside and had me sit on the toilet. She grabbed my clothes from me. "Give me those. Looks like you already washed them." She threw them out the door and over the banister. "Edward, dry those off for me!" She went to the cabinet above the sink and grabbed the supplies she needed, the sounds of Edward's alchemy in the background. She came back over to me and began her work. Her face was one of quiet determination. She seemed hell bent on taking care of me.

 _Why do you care?_

I almost felt like asking.

The alchemist threw the clothes back over the banister, ever the lazy man, and told his mechanic to get them herself. She did just that and brought them over to me. She grabbed a brush from a drawer and began running it through my slightly tangled hair. She kept at it until my locks had regained most of their volume and were practically dry. It was so soothing that I almost fell asleep where I sat.

"Now, get dressed. I'll wait outside the door so I can help you down the stairs when you're done. I know you won't call for me." She smiled at me, then left the room, leaving me with my clothes and my thoughts.

I managed to dress myself. I was just so damn confused. Less than a week ago I would have killed her for trying to boss me around like that. But now, even the idea of snuffing out a life brought me much displeasure. It was an odd feeling. Usually the thought of murder brought excitement.

 _It's because you're a pathetic human._

The voice, so like my own, yet so different, echoed in my head. I stared, wide-eyed at my reflection in the mirror, unable to follow the trail of my thoughts. My mind was racing and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Envy? You alright?" the girl asked, concerned.

It took a few moments to realize what it was that was different in my face. At first I thought I was just noticing the surrender in my eyes. Upon further study, I realized that it wasn't a change in my demeanor that I was seeing, but a physical change.

My eyes had faded from their usual bright purple to a dull brown.

They were horrifyingly human.

I fell backwards, landing on the floor with a loud thump.

My quasi-doctor busting into the room, rushing to my side. "Envy! What happened? Are your wounds hurting badly? Let me get Ed to carry you downstairs." She opened her mouth to call for the alchemist, but stopped when my hand smacked into her shoulder. I gripped the small bone roughly, directing a hard stare at her.

She saw the "no" in my face, and closed her mouth. After a moment, she smiled. "Okay, I get it. Can you stand?"

I nodded.

She offered her hand to me. I took it, accepting the assistance that I knew I would need to get up from such a low position. Once I was on my feet, I headed for the door.

Her hand gripped my wrist and she pulled me back to face her. "You forgot something." She reached out to me, pushing something over my head, pulling my hair out, then pulling it back up onto my forehead. My headband. I hadn't had it since she'd taken it off to wash it days ago. My hair was no longer serving as a curtain between my face and the outside world.

With my wounds healing, my clothes clean, and my headband once again subduing the cluster that was my hair, I began to feel somewhat normal again. I gained a bit of strength from that fact.

I left the bathroom and walked down the stairs on my own. My wounds ached, but it was bearable. I wasn't standing straight, but I wasn't curled in on myself either. I went over to the couch I had been occupying the last few days and stared out the window.

 _How did we get here?_


	5. Chapter 5

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I really don't have much to say for this chapter. So, I'll take this moment of your attention to shamelessly plug this in here: If you guys enjoy my writing, I'd like to inform you that I have actually written a book of my own original work! If you'd like to check it out, you can find it on Amazon or the Books-A-Million website. It's called** ** _The Past Whispers to Madness._**

 **Alright, sorry. I had to do it. Anyway, on with the story!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Edward POV_

So there we were, after a full week of babysitting Envy, standing at the bottom of Winry's stairs, staring at Envy, who had just spoken for the first time in his entire stay. He sounded so like his old self that I felt my hatred flare up like an old flame.

My childhood friend walked over to the ex-homunculus, bending down in front of where he sat in his chair. She smiled kindly at him. "Are you talking now?"

He stared at her. I almost thought he had decided to lapse back into his vow of silence, but he eventually said, "I suppose. Maybe if I do, you two will stop talking as much. All you two seem to do is argue about me. Decide what you want to do with me, and let that be the end of it."

I stepped towards him. "Well if it were up to me, you'd be gone!"

Winry opened her mouth, probably to yell at me, but she never got anything out.

Envy stood up suddenly and turned towards me, crouching slightly. His face was dark with anger. "Then decide! Make it your decision! Get rid of me!"

I clapped my hands together, alchemic energy flowing around them. "You really don't want me to do that."

"Bring it on, pipsqueak."

Transmuting my automail into my preferred weapon as I went, I ran towards him. My arm jerked back, prepared to lash at him the second I was in range. Just before I brought my arm down, I saw a flash of blonde hair move in front of him.

I was able to push my arm upwards so that it went over Winry's shoulder and lightly grazed Envy's. He grunted, but quickly recovered, grabbing my metal wrist and pulling me forward, then gripping my flesh wrist in his other hand. My body was flush up against my mechanic, her back against Envy.

He had control of the situation. "Choose! Right now!"

A knock on the door grabbed everyone's attention. I was the first one to regain my focus, which gave me the time I needed to put myself in control. I pulled my left arm from Envy's grasp, shoved Winry onto the couch next to us, and threw my foot into the asshole's stomach, causing him to fly backwards. He hit the wall so hard that the painting above him shook and fell from its hook. It barely missed his head, instead hitting his thigh. He made a little yelping sound and covered the spot with his hand.

Another knock.

I ignored the visitor entirely. Beating the hell out of Envy was the only thing I wanted at that moment. I started to walk towards where he sat on the floor glaring up at me, but a hard smack on the back of my head with something metallic sent me crashing to the floor at his feet. The old, mostly healed wound that I had gotten when I smacked into Al, an event that Envy had brought about, reopened from the impact of what I learned to be Winry's wrench. I had no choice but to lay there and wait for the room to stop spinning.

Winry took advantage of my incapacitated state and went to answer the door. I didn't really hear the small talk she made with whoever it was, but then she grabbed my attention with, "Edward! It's for you!"

Confusion swept over me. _Who would come all the way here to see me?_ I stood up, ignoring the dirty looks from the thing on the floor, and went to the door, thinking I was going to find Armstrong or maybe even Mustang.

I definitely hadn't expected to see _her_ standing there.

Rose smiled at me from the porch. "Hello, Edward! I'm glad I finally made it to the right house!"

I changed my automail back to its normal form, not wanting to alarm her with the blade. "Rose, hey!"

"I hope it's not a bad time. You know, you are very hard to find."

"What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" It worried me that she had left Lior to find me. As far as I knew, she had never left the little desert city in her life.

Her smile faltered, confirming my suspicions that something was amiss. "Actually, no. I came to find you because I wasn't sure where else to go. Lior is... Well, I promise to tell you about it, but I am very tired. Would you mind if I stayed here, at least for a few days? I need some place safe to stay while I figure out what to do..."

I looked at her sadly. "I mean, I don't have a problem with it, but it's not my house. You'll have to ask Winry, here." I pointed to my friend.

Rose turned her attention back to Winry, blushing with embarrassment, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry! I just assumed... Oh, how terribly rude of me."

Winry held a hand up, smiling, stopping Rose's ramble. "No need to apologize. Ed has told me about you before. You're more than welcome to stay here for as long as you need."

The Lior-native lifted her bowed head, a world of gratitude in her eyes. "Thank you so much! I promise to repay the favor."

I stepped back, holding the door open wider. "Why don't you come inside? You must be tired from your travels." I took her small bag from her hands.

She stepped inside, all smiles and tired eyes.

And her gaze went directly to Envy.

His tall form lingered in the living room, once again looking strangely out of place. My kick to his gut had reopened the slowly healing gun shot wound, and he had been inspecting it while we had conversed with our visitor. His face was pale and a sheen of sweat had appeared on his forehead. Apparently our small fight had hurt him more than he had let on.

"Oh my god!" Rose ran over to Envy in a panic, frightened by the sight of his blood, no doubt. "Are you alright? What happened to you?!" She turned back to look at me. "What happened to him?"

"Um... Well... You see..." I stuttered.

"So you did this?"

"How did you guess that?!"

"You look guilty. Why, though?"

I glared at Envy, but the expression didn't last long.

He was staring at Rose with a look of... amazement. His eyes were wide, and there was a light in them that I had never seen before. The closest he had ever come was the sheer delight you could see in his face when he harmed someone. This look, however, was more innocent than that.

Winry left the room, saying something about getting medical supplies.

"Well you see," I tried to explain, "it's complicated." I wanted to tell her what an awful being he was, and that he was an enemy that needed to be dealt with, but the look on his face prevented me from building a real defense.

My mechanic came back with her usual armful.

Rose ran up to her and grabbed the items. "Allow me. It's the least I can do, since you're allowing me to stay here."

"You don't have to do that. I'm letting you stay here because you're a friend of Ed's. You don't owe me anything. And besides, I've been taking care of him for the past week." Winry smiled.

I scoffed. "And he's been nothing but ungrateful."

Winry turned on me, her face full of rage. "Edward, I swear. I'm going to really hurt you if you keep this up." She reached for her wrench that had been left on the floor after its previous encounter with my skull.

I gulped. "You know what, I haven't seen Al today. I think I'm going to go find him!" My legs carried me out the door faster than they ever had before, but not before I heard the two women sigh in annoyance.


	6. Chapter 6

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I know I just posted a chapter, but I have another one ready and there's no sense in holding it back! I am having so much fun with this fic! I know I keep saying that, and I'm sorry for the repetition, but I really am! It's all I ever think about anymore, it feels like. I hope you guys are enjoying reading it at least half as much as I am writing it. As always, I would LOVE to hear what you think!**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

The female engineer grunted in aggravation as the pipsqueak left the house. She clenched her fists, then as she was leaving out the same door, said, "I'm going to go for a walk."

The door slammed shut, leaving the stranger and I alone.

I had been watching her from the moment she walked in the door. The first thing I had noticed was the way her two-toned hair framed her round, tanned face. She was beautiful in an old-fashioned sort of way. She moved gracefully, and you could see every emotion that she felt cross her face, as clearly as if she had put the feelings into words. I felt an odd stirring inside myself, some sort of emotion I was not familiar with. Now that we were alone, I knew she would look at me, so I pulled my mask of cockiness back on, hiding my pain and this new uneasy feeling.

She turned to me and smiled. "A little weird that they would leave us alone in the house, huh?"

"I think the girl's grandmother is home upstairs, or out back somewhere."

Her face took on a look of surprise.

"What?" I asked. Did she not think the alchemist had any other family?

"Your voice... It's not what I expected."

It was my turn to look surprised. That was the last thing I'd expected to hear come out of her mouth.

She must have misinterpreted my surprise as hurt, because she started apologizing. "I didn't mean that as a bad thing. I was expecting something a little...deeper. Or at least something... Well I didn't think it would be that pleasing, to be honest."

Correction: _That_ was the last thing I'd expected to hear.

I'd heard a lot of different reactions to my voice of choice in the past, but none of them had ever been that positive. Most people mocked me, the voice being neither masculine nor feminine. That was my favorite part of the voice, however.

 _I guess I can call it_ my _voice now, since I'm stuck with it._

I'd been silent for a long moment while stuck in my reverie. Once back in the present, I found the woman's face staring at me with worry.

"I didn't mean to offend you..."

My eyes widened. "No, that's not it. I've just never been complimented before, you caught me off guard." I was acting like a little school boy talking to an older woman. I calmed myself down, bringing my normal bravado back. Somehow, she seemed to be able to break that down with ease. That worried me. "Thanks, I guess."

She looked confused, but she still smiled. "Well, how about I fix up that wound for you? It has to be hurting."

I would never admit to her, or anyone for that matter, that it really did hurt. Quite a bit, actually. Instead, I simply shrugged nonchalantly. "Whatever. Where do you want me to sit?"

She led me over to a wooden chair in the dining room, and quickly went to work. She was as caring as Edward's girl was, but not nearly as bossy. Her touches were much more gentle.

As she worked, she attempted to start a conversation. "So what do people call you?"

"Envy."

Her hands stopped, only for a short second, then continued their ministrations. "What an interesting name. You can call me Rose."

 _Rose. What an oddly fitting name._

I had heard the name when Edward had been speaking to her earlier, and it had seemed like a strange name at the time, but now that I had a face for it, it seemed completely normal.

"What happened here, anyway?" she asked, indicating the wound she was re-bandaging.

"It's not really my story to tell. The pipsqueak might do it again if I explain."

"Well I can see that it's a gunshot wound. Why did he shoot you?"

I shook my head. "The original wound is from someone else. He just reopened it."

"Why?" She looked irritated. I couldn't tell if it was directed at me or the boy in question.

The corner of my mouth turned up in a humorless smirk. "Now, now. I told you, that's not my story to tell."

Rose pulled the bandage she was wrapping around me tight, so tight that it caused the wound to ache. "There, now you can tell Edward that I forced it out of you. I want to know."

That actually got a small chuckled out of me. But it died quickly as I considered actually telling her. I'd have to explain that I was Edward's enemy, a murderer, and someone that the alchemist did not feel safe having around his makeshift family. That I was someone Edward Elric wanted dead. She would begin to hate me too, I was sure, and that thought bothered me more than it should have.

My eyes gazed down at her with a dark seriousness. "I don't want to tell you."

She recognized the gravity of the situation immediately. I could see the tiniest bit of fear in her face before she tilted it downwards. She finished patching me up, then stood, a new smile plastered on her face.

I felt bad. I should have just kept using the Edward excuse. My attitude had upset her and I didn't like it. She had been entirely nice to me and this was how I treated her in return?

 _You're pathetic. Why should you care about a human's feelings?_

There was the familiar stranger's voice again. He constantly judged me, fought with me in my head over the things I felt and thought. I knew it was the old me, struggling to cope with what I had become. I knew he shouldn't be separate from me, but my brain couldn't handle having his views of humans while being one, so it cut him away to save its sanity. We weren't completely severed from each other, so my thoughts were never completely calmed, but it made life almost bearable.

I attempted to make up for my rudeness as best I could, ignoring the terrible taunting my other self threw at me. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Her smile turned genuine. "It's not a problem. It's actually healing quite well."

 _A little gratitude sure goes a long way with her._

I turned my head and looked out the window, taking in the scenery. It was a cheerful day, very few clouds in the sky, a light breeze swaying the branches of the trees in the yard. The grass looked bright, soft, and inviting. I felt the sudden urge to go outside and feel all of the things I saw.

My hands found the table and I pushed myself up out of the chair. My legs carried me to the door.

"Where are you going?" Rose inquired, unconsciously moving closer to me.

"I haven't been outside since I was injured. I'd like to get some fresh air." I was going to leave the house just after I explained myself, but the look on her face stopped me. She looked like she wanted to ask me something. I kept looking at her, willing my visage to appear open and non-judgmental.

She took the invitation. "Do you mind if I come with you? It feels like I've been alone for a while now and I'd like to have some company."

That's when I noticed just how much weight was on her shoulders. It wasn't weight from responsibilities she might have, but more like an exhaustion brought on by the things she had been through. Entirely unlike me, I felt like hugging her, making some sort of attempt to comfort her.

 _You are not going to do that. What a ridiculous whim!_

Not wanting to argue with my alter ego, I ignored the feeling and answered her in a very detached tone. "You can do what you want."

I walked out onto the porch, slowly down the steps, and then onto the grass. It felt nice under my feet, every bit as soft as it looked. The breeze did wonders to clear my head. It pushed the annoying voice in my head to the back of my mind, making room for me to think through my situation.

I was human. It wasn't something that I was happy about, but the statement didn't quite sting with the intensity it had a few days ago. My wounds were healing and I was able to move around more and more each day. I was getting used to the way things felt with my human senses. The only thing that was markedly different from before was my threshold for pain. It was more intense, but I was still able to deal with it quite well, in my opinion.

Things could've been worse. It was true, I couldn't change my form anymore, an ability I missed dearly, but at least I was stuck in one that I actually liked. It was my favorite face, in fact. The young, androgynous body-my body-was something I could be proud of. I was actually starting to like the brown my eyes had changed to. They weren't as intimidating as the unnatural violet I had lost, but it didn't seem impossible to change that fact.

A thought had occurred to me earlier that day when Edward and I had been fighting. It was something that, now that I gave it attention, worried me. Once I was back on my feet, how would I defend myself? I wasn't able to change my body into weapons and it wasn't like there were swords and spears lying all over the country home. And would they even be effective without my superhuman strength to back them up if I had them? Fearing for my survival had not been something I'd ever had experience before now.

"It really is a nice day." Rose had come to stand next to me. She was staring out over the landscape, a mirror image of myself.

The woman seemed genuinely happy, even though she had just traveled some distance to escape some terrible tragedy that had befallen her home. It amazed me that she was strong enough to hold up under all of the sadness, fear, and guilt she had to be feeling.

"How do you do it?" I asked.

She looked at me, bewildered. "Do what?"

"Stay happy. From what I heard earlier, it sounds like something bad has happened to you and your hometown. How can you say it's a nice day? How do you find joy in something so small when your world is falling apart?"

I surprised myself with the deep question. It felt as if my entire being were asking the question. I knew that I was letting her see the vulnerable side of me, but I didn't care. If she could offer some sort of balm for my misery, then I was going to do whatever I needed to get her help.

She turned her smiling face back to country setting. "There's no point in dwelling on the bad things in life. It's only going to upset you more. You have to keep moving forward in life. I can't just sit down and accept my fate. I've got a good pair of legs, I should get up and use them."


	7. Chapter 7

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I'm loving the reviews! Thanks so much for your feedback!**

 **One of my favorite things to do is to go into the relationships between characters, so prepare for that. But also prepare for some action! I love to torture characters. And we're getting close to something big! :3**

 _Edward POV_

Days passed without event. I spent much of my time outside. I couldn't stand staying in that house, living with Envy. I didn't want to see or hear him if I could avoid it. The fact that everyone was being nice to him made it that much worse. It was as if they had forgotten he had been our enemy not that long ago.

Al even carried on full conversations with the sin, speaking mostly of alchemy. Apparently Envy had quite an extensive knowledge of the subject. My brother had told me on several occasions about tricks he had learned from our guest. I tried not to be too interested...

Winry had taken on the role of mother around him. She made sure he ate three times a day, even when he was too detached to want it. She tried her best to keep him entertained, offering different books for him to read or to take him on short walks around the small town.

Rose, who had taken over Winry's job as his nurse, seemed quite enthralled with the man. She usually took over the walks my mechanic offered him, and read the books to him when he refused to read them himself. Envy seemed quite content with that arrangement, always looking at her with a mix of wonder and fondness.

The absolute worst part of all of this was that they were treating him like a human being.

 _But that's what he is, isn't it? Human?_

I shook my head, attempting to clear my thoughts. His body was human, but that didn't mean he had a soul.

 _Does it?_

Envy's wounds had healed, quite remarkably, according to Rose. He was up and moving almost every moment of the day, causing me to switch my evasive action and hide in the house, as opposed to outside. Most of the time when he was gone, so was Rose.

"They really have hit it off, haven't they?" Winry noted beside me.

We were sitting on the porch outside, watching the two in question play with Den in the front yard. Rose was laughing heartily, teasing the dog with a large stick she had picked up. Envy was sitting on a stump nearby, watching the girl and her playmate with a slightly amused smile, occasionally catching the stick if it came too close to his face and throwing it to the dog in turn.

"I suppose," I muttered.

"What's with the sour attitude? Things have been going well lately," my childhood friend said, chastising me lightly while remaining carefree.

"You know I don't like him. I agreed not to start any trouble, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about his being here."

She sighed, exasperated. "Alright, Edward."

"Ed!" Rose said happily as she walked up to the porch. "I can feel your bad mood all the way over there. I know you don't like Envy, though I'm not sure why, but maybe you should try to get to know the guy. He's really fun to be around." After she lobbed that idea at me, she turned to Winry. "How about we go to town and grab something for dinner?"

Winry nodded. "Sure! What should we make?"

"I have no idea. What do you think?"

My mechanic eyed me as if we were sharing some private joke. "I know what Ed wants." She paused for dramatic effect. "Stew!"

My eyes lit up in excitement. "I would love some stew! Have Pinako make it!"

"Well, then that settles it," Rose said. "We'll be back in a little while!"

Once the girls left, I went back to viewing the green setting around me. A sense of comfort surrounded me, covering me like a security blanket. I wasn't worried about a single thing outside of how much time there was between now and the moment that delicious meat soup would hit my stomach. My eyes eventually wandered to Envy.

He was still perched on the stump, but now he was staring at the rapidly setting sun with a somber expression. He was wearing very normal looking clothes, allowing him to fit in with the scene a bit better. After his injuries had healed, he'd started avoiding being around people and when he was, he'd strategically place his hands to hide the newly formed scars. They were ugly, that was for sure. After a few days of that, Winry had offered him her father's clothes once more, this time having the offer accepted by the ex-homunculus.

Sometime earlier that day, Rose had been playing with the guy's hair, braiding it, undoing it, pulling it up, undoing it. She'd decided to leave it in a loose ponytail. The shorter strands near his face hung free, much like mine, while the rest of his wild main was subdued in the tie low on his neck.

Envy looked so utterly human in that moment.

A strange emotion washed over me, one that I had never felt towards him since I'd met him. I couldn't quite describe it, something similar to sympathy. I wanted to talk to him, know what he was feeling. The guy had never really had much, power really being the only thing important to him. Or perhaps it was the fact that what little he'd had was taken away from him. That I could _definitely_ empathize with.

I blamed the feeling of understanding on a mixture of the way he looked and the fact that I was getting stew for dinner as I walked over to where he sat on the stump. I stopped a few feet from him, waiting to see if he would react.

After a few moments, without looking at me, he said, "Can I help you?"

"Are you alright?" I asked.

His back jerked, causing him to sit straight up. He looked at me with wide eyes. "What?"

I sneered at him. "Well, never mind then."

"No, I just... You don't care. So why are you asking?"

I thought about this. "If you want the truth, I really don't know."

He stared at me for a long moment. "I believe you mean that."

Again, we were both silent. I could see a pattern forming:awkward mumbling, silence, more awkward mumbling.

"So this is your real face, then?" I inquired. "I always thought it was just your favorite look."

"It is. My true form is something different." Every muscle in Envy's body was taut with stress.

I cocked my eyebrow. "Really? Why didn't you revert to that form when Dante made you human?"

He shrugged. "That would be some complicated alchemy, I imagine. She made my body human, she didn't revert anything."

"How do you figure that?"

"If she had simply reversed the alchemy used to create me, I would have turned to nothing. This is, or rather was, an imitation body, not my original. But it's _my_ body now."

Another bout of silence passed.

"Did you pick someone to base your looks off of? Was this-" I gestured to his body "-one of your friends?" Though the idea of someone like him having a friend seemed like a far stretch, I'd stopped believing anything was impossible.

He chuckled, his thoughts evidently following the same path as mine. "No, I don't have friends. Or, I didn't." The smile faded from his face. "I just picked out certain features from different bodies, features that I found aesthetically pleasing, and mashed them together in one body."

That explained why his appearance was so god damn confusing. It was a little easier to tell that he was a man now that he was wearing very male clothing. But not by much.

"Then what did you look like before you made this body? Who were you supposed to be?"

He closed his eyes, lapsing back into silence once more.

"You're really old, right? Were you someone famous?"

He glared at me sharply, daggers in his eyes. "Don't call me old."

I rolled my eyes. "You still haven't answered my question."

Minutes passed. It started to feel like hours. I wondered if I had upset him with my question. Maybe he missed his old body. Or his old life.

I threw my head from side to side.

 _No. He's not that person. He's a fake version of that person._

"You don't want me to answer that."

His voice startled me. "Why not?"

He stared at me from the corner of his half-lidded eyes. "You _really_ wouldn't like the answer."

He had sounded so much like his old self in that moment that I felt a shiver of fear crawl down my back, breaking through the warm security my hometown had covered me in. And yet, my curiosity was getting the better of me.

"Just tell me. I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

The look in his eyes reminded me of the one that he'd had when he first got here. Complete and total surrender.

"His son," he whispered.

My chest tightened, for reasons unknown to me. "What? Who's son?"

He took in a deep breath. "Hohenheim's son."

The sound of rushing water took over my ears. I balled my hands into fists and spoke through clenched teeth. "That's... That's impossible. My mother only had two of us."

"You're not wrong. Trisha Elric is not my mother."

"And Hohenheim is not your father!" My rage burst through the gate, my voice rising with my anger level.

"I don't like it either. He abandoned me, ran off to his _new_ family." His body was shaking with the same emotion I was feeling, but darker somehow. It was a grudge we'd both been harboring almost all of our lives, but he'd been holding on to it longer.

"Even if what you're saying is true, and Hohenheim had another son, you're still not him. You homunculi are just imitations!"

He stood up, his larger stature extremely apparent. His face was dark with a deadly mix of emotions. "I'm not a homunculus anymore, don't lump me in with them. And just because you don't want to believe it doesn't mean it's not true. I'm sorry, Edward, but I _am_ his son!"

I screamed, a guttural, primal roar as I swung blindly at him. My fist connected with his jaw, sending him stumbling to the side. My foot reached out and tripped him, putting him flat on his back. I jumped on top of him, one leg on each side of him, and started swinging. "You son of a bitch!" Three punches connected with his face before I was interrupted.

Two metal hands gripped my waist and lifted me off of him. "Brother, please!"

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"Edward, what the hell?!" Winry screamed. She and Rose ran up to us, bags of groceries in their arms.

Rose was looking at me as if I'd just kicked a baby. She quickly switched her attention to the thing on the ground. Her eyes widened and she dropped her bag, running to his side. "Envy!"

He sat up. Blood was running from his mouth, his nose, and a cut on his forehead.

They had been three _really good_ swings.

"Ed, why did you hit him?" Al asked, still holding on to me.

I struggled against him, almost growling out my words. "He said he was Hohenheim's son!"

My brother gasped.

Everyone fell silent.

Alphonse said exactly what I didn't want to hear. "He's... our brother?"


	8. Chapter 8

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I'm sorry it's been a while... Life got crazy there for a while.**

 **Anyone like where I'm going with this whole EnvyxRose thing? I love it. :) You can be brutally honest if you hate it. I just want to hear from you guys!**

 **This might be an emotional chapter for Envy, so prepare yourself. Sorry that it's a little short, but I wanted to get something out for you guys. Plus, I couldn't go much farther with it in Envy's POV.**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

My face hurt. Bad. A metal fist to the face doesn't tickle, that's for sure.

I put my hand up to my cheek, flinching when the contact caused a spike in the pain. There was blood on my hand when I pulled it away. My lip felt huge and my nose was pulsing in agony.

Rose bent down next to me. "Envy! Are you alright?"

I smirked. It was supposed to be a smile, but the fat side of my mouth wouldn't move the way I wanted it to. "I'm fine. I knew this would happen when I told him."

She gasped. "So it's true? You're his brother?"

"Half-brother, but yes."

"He is not!" Edward screamed. "He's just a cheap imitation!"

I closed my eyes and sighed in irritation. "He doesn't want to admit it. If he did, that would mean he's admitting Sloth was his mother."

"She wasn't!"

"Brother, please!" Al begged. "Calm down! We can talk about this calmly. Let's go inside and-"

"Shut up, Al!" The alchemist glared at his little sibling, then turned and ran.

I vaguely heard Rose muttering something about cleaning my wounds as I watched him disappear over the hills.

XXXXX

Edward came back later that night. He was covered in sticks, leaves, and dirt, and he was clearly still pissed. There was an uncomfortable tension in the air, so I left the house, telling no one.

I found a choice spot under a nearby tree. The roots were curved in all the right places, creating a little spot that was just the right size for my butt to sit in. I leaned back against it's massive trunk, breathing in the scent of the serene world around me.

 _What a mess I've gotten myself into._

The other voice that used to haunt me almost constantly hadn't made an appearance since Rose had stumbled into the place. It was one of the many reasons why I liked her. She had made me almost comfortable with the idea of being human.

Dante had done this as a form of punishment. I hadn't been listening to her. My brain had been completely taken over with the thoughts of getting my revenge on that bastard father of mine. My hatred hadn't intensified-that wasn't possible. It was something else.

During an argument, Lust had pointed out to me that Dante didn't care for me as much as she should have. She was my mother, after all. It was true that I was her favorite, but she never really showed my any sort of motherly affection. She really only ever spoke to me to give me orders, orders to do things that would benefit her, and her alone.

 _"She's abandoned you as a son, just like that father of yours, and made you her henchman instead."_

If Lust hadn't phrased it that way-if I hadn't stormed off after that-if I hadn't seen that happy mother with her child-my reaction might have been different. But all of those things _did_ happen and they led me down a very toxic path, a path that led me to this moment here.

I clawed my scalp out of stress, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. Gradually, the strands started to slip out of the holder as I moved it this way and that.

 _Why am I so hard to love?_

My eyes began to water and I struggled to hold it back. I did not want to cry. There was no point in crying.

 _Why is everything I desire just out of reach?_

The tears were impossible to stop. They fell down my face gracefully. the final remnants of my hair slipped from the holder and the wild mane circled my shoulders, shutting me out from the world. My whole body shook with the silent cries. I gritted my teeth, biting the side of my tongue to keep myself from making any noise. I was close enough to the house that it was possible someone might here me. I didn't need Edward to come out here and mock me.

Dante was upset with me for abandoning her, so she abandoned me in return. The only difference was that she threw salt in the wound by making me human. She knew it would make me miserable, and that it would most likely mean the death of me, of her son. And she didn't think twice about it. She didn't care one single bit.

Somehow I'd found refuge with the sons of the one I'd been hunting. My _brothers._ It had seemed like a terrible situation in the beginning, but I'd began to feel almost at home with them. The little one, Alphonse, had even started to grow on me. Right before I'd revealed our relation, Edward, of all people, had seemed like he'd warmed up to the idea of me living there. But even after all of that, I'd been rejected by them, my own brothers.

"Envy?"

I gasped as Rose's soft voice came from behind me. I turned my face to her, trying to use my hair to hide my face. I cleared my throat, attempting to keep the tears out of my voice. "Hey there."

She saw right through me, of course. "Why are you crying?"

I tried to hold it in. Maybe now that she was here I could calm myself down. My breathing deepened, a result of my attempt to stop the shuddering.

"What happened to you?"

At that, I lost it. I let out a loud sob as I launched myself into her lap. My head rested on her chest, my tears running down and staining her dress. My hands gripped the cloth by her shoulders tightly, causing her to shake with me. Rocks were stabbing my knees as I knelt in front of her.

After her surprise passed, Rose wrapped her arms around me. It was the first _real_ hug I'd had in my entire existence. It wasn't just a casual throw of the arm, it was a real, tight, caring hug. And it was exactly what I needed in that moment. She ran her hand through my hair, twisting strands around her fingers, pushing some behind ear, though it fell back almost immediately because of the sheer volume of it.

She stayed quiet as I cried, allowing me to eventually drift off into sleep.

XXXXX

The first thing I felt in the morning was confusion. I wasn't sure where I was, so I tried to wade through the heavy fog in my mind and deduce what my situation was.

I had been next to the tree with Rose. She had hugged me, though I didn't remember why. We had both been on our knees, so that didn't explain why I was laying down now. In that moment, I noticed that Rose was laying next to me, curled around my body, sleeping. We were nestled in the little seat carved out by the roots I had found the previous night.

My face felt hot.

 _She slept out here with me?_

Then I remembered that I had been crying, and that she had been out here to comfort me.

And the reason I had been crying infuriated me.

I disentangled myself from Rose, and stood up. It was early in the morning and it looked like rain was coming soon. I stood there for a long while, contemplating what I should do next. Edward clearly didn't want me in his house, and if I stayed, he would make my life pretty difficult. I had no idea how the other Elric felt about me at that point. Or the mechanic, for that matter. On the other hand, I had no where else to go and Rose was here...

After a lot of arguing with myself, I decided that I would stay. I was the alchemist's equal at this point, so he would have to deal with me. I would only leave if the engineer kicked me out. It was her house, after all. Edward Elric be damned.

I felt a few rain drops splash on my face.

 _I'd better wake Rose before the rain does._

I bent down next to her and gently shook her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and a soft smile broke across her face.

"Good morning," she said as she rubbed her eyes.

"Ditto." I smirked at her. "We'd better get inside. It's about to rain." I got back up onto my feet and held out my hand to her.

She took it and stood next to me. I turned to walk in the house, but she didn't let go of my hand and refused to move with me. I looked her, confused.

"Are you okay now?" she asked, sincerely worried.

I blinked. Her concern for me never failed to throw me off balance. "Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm perfect."

She stared at me for a moment, then she jerked my arm forward, pulling me close to her. She hugged me tightly, just as she had the night before. "You don't have to pretend, you know. It's okay to hurt."

I bowed my head and let her hug me, but I didn't hug her back. I didn't feel like I had the right to hold such a wonderful creature.

We stood like that as the rain began to pour around us.


	9. Chapter 9

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **Big stuff happened last chapter! For those of you who might not like emotional-Envy, I promise he's going in my closet for a little while. All of his sadness has turned to anger and cockiness, so he's closer to how he used to be. :3**

 **On with the show! Enjoy!**

 _Edward POV_

"You just had to bring him in," I complained to Winry. Envy had just left the house and the dam I had kept my thoughts behind broke, letting all of my anger push through. "We should have left him there to die."

"You know, you've said that about a million times now and I give you the same reply every time." Winry glared at me, clearly already fed up.

I didn't care. "Be mad if you want. I don't understand your answer. His body may be human, but he doesn't have a soul."

"I think he does. Have you seen the way he looks at Rose?"

"He's beaten the living hell out of Al and I more times than I can count! He's killed countless people!"

"Damn it, Edward! He's different!"

I crossed my arms and scoffed. "Once a murderer, always a murderer."

"So why do you work with Mustang? You respect him, don't you? He's murdered people. My parents, even."

My eyes snapped open, wide as a full moon. Her point shook me to my core. I liked to view the world as a black and white place. Evil and good, totally separate and identifiable. She had just thrown a whole mess of gray into the mix. My definition of good, of _humanity_ , was no longer definite.

 _What now?_

"That's a very valid point, Winry," I said quietly. All of the fire had rushed out of me, my anger totally dried up. I bowed my head and closed my eyes, trying to sort through my thoughts.

The door opened and my brother stepped in.

"Did you see where he went?" Winry asked.

"He's just sitting under the tree outside the house," Al reported.

She sighed in relief. "Good. I was worried that he was leaving for good."

"Why do you care?" I asked her. My voice was quiet and completely calm. "I'm not being a smart ass. I'm honestly curious."

My childhood friend stared at me. I mean _really_ stared at me. It was like she was trying to determine what species I was. A long bout of silence passed before she spoke, and she looked entirely serious when she did. "Edward, tell me something. If you came across a stranger who was injured, would you help him?"

"Of course. But, _Envy is not a stranger._ I can't even begin to remember all the times I've felt the guy's fist on my face."

Her eyebrows knitted together and her mouth flattened into a straight line. "I don't know if you've noticed, but he's not exactly that guy anymore."

I gasped. "What?"

"When he was a homunculus, he didn't have a soul right?"

I nodded curtly. "Yeah, what of it?"

"You don't think he has one now?"

"Having a human body doesn't give you a soul."

"What makes a soul, Edward?"

That shut me up entirely. There was no easy way to answer that. The question threw my mind back into turmoil.

"Well?" she persisted.

Rose slammed her hand on the table across the room, reminding me of her presence. I might have censored myself a bit more had I realized she was still within range of my words. Each sentence must have lashed her deeply, considering how close she'd grown to Envy in their short time they had known each other. Her face was contorted with rage.

"Edward, she's trying to tell you to give him a chance. Why don't you listen for once?" She opened her eyes and stared hard into my eyes. "Do you really believe that people can't change?"

I leveled my own stare back at her. "They can, but sometimes a person is too far gone to change."

"How do you know he's at that point?"

"How do you know that he's not?"

She almost growled, "Because I talk to the guy!"

The tension in the air was tangible. It crawled over my skin, tempting me to snap back, urging me to throw my fist at something. Since Envy's face wasn't close by, I settled for simply clenching my hands and glaring at the ground. Once again, I had been left with no grounds to argue with.

 _Doesn't that mean you're wrong?_

Rose sighed in aggravation and left the house, slamming the door loudly.

"Perhaps you should listen, Brother," Al chided gently. "No one is trying to force you to be best friends with him, but don't shut him out completely. It's going to take time for trust to build between us, and I think he knows that. But everyone around here is trying to give him a chance except you."

I didn't like that my younger brother sounded wiser and older than me. "Al..."

"Just think about it, okay?"

I let out a long breath, releasing some of the tension, and allowed my body to relax. My butt plopped down into the chair behind me and I placed my right ankle on my left knee, resting my elbow on the other.

Evidently both my brother and Winry understood that the conversation was over, at least on my end, as they left the room to attend to their own affairs. I sat there, turning over in my mind everything that had been said.

XXXXX

The next day, I woke up to the sound of rain smacking into my window. Though the storm sounded rough, it was a very soothing sound. Gradually, the layers of sleep peeled away, leaving me feeling refreshed. I sat up in my bed and my golden locks fell into my face. I looked outside, willing the memories of last night to stay away just a little while longer.

My effort was in vain, for every word swam around in my brain, clear as day. I sighed, and began dressing myself.

Downstairs, Winry had a hot breakfast sitting on the table. It smelled delicious. There was a bounty of toast, sausage, and other traditional breakfast food, just ready for my stomach. Just as I turned the corner, she was scraping eggs onto a plate, the last dish meant for the hole in the center of the table.

"You know, I think this is the only good part of this stupid situation. You've been cooking almost all of the meals for us!" I enthused.

She grimaced. "I started doing this for him. I was hoping it would help him recover, physically and mentally. It seems to have helped at least a little..."

I ignored yet another pro-Envy comment and focused on the amazing setup in front of me. I reached my hand out for a plate, but quickly pulled it back when Winry smacked it with her spatula. It had been my metal hand, so it hadn't really hurt, but it had startled me. "What?"

"We are waiting until they get back," Alphonse informed me from his chair in the living room.

"They?" I looked around to find that Rose was gone, as well as Envy. "Did they not come home last night?"

She shook her head. "I don't know why Envy would, the way you treat him. Rose probably followed him out of town."

"Shall I go look for them?" my little brother asked.

I thought about everything that had happened recently. I decided then and there that I would take Winry's and Rose's advice. "No, I'll do it."

My legs carried me out the door into the rain as I ignored the shocked stares from those two. I didn't have to go very far. They were standing near the tree, Rose wrapped around Envy, the sin standing stiff as a board. Their hair was glued to their shoulders and faces, evidence of just how long they had been standing there. It was somewhat awkward to look at, so I turned away for a moment.

"Can I help you, Edward?" I heard Envy's voice through the downpour.

My eyes snapped over to the two. They hadn't moved, with the exception of Envy's head. His eyes were now level with mine and he standing fully erect.

I pursed my lips together. "I came to find you two. Winry was worried. Breakfast is ready."

Rose turned to look at me, her eyes still somewhat glazed over from the moment they had shared. She stared at me for a good minute before she became fully aware. "You know, I am hungry."

"And cold," Envy said, pointing to her goose-flesh covered arms for evidence. "Let's get inside."

Something about the ex-homunculus's demeanor had changed. There was a level of defiance in his voice that hadn't been present since his arrival here, a light in his eyes that I hadn't seen for a while. He still wasn't exactly the same, but he was closer to the Envy I knew and hated than the broken man we'd picked up from the side of the road. It worried me that he might possibly be going back down that road.

Once inside, we all sat down for breakfast. Envy and I ate in silence, occasionally stealing glances at one another, inspecting each other for secret plots. Rose and Winry chattered about nothing in particular, attempting to ignore the static between the two of us. Al sat dutifully next to my side, even though he didn't eat. I didn't know if it was my imagination or not, but I was sure that he was there as a safety measure, ready to stop me if I lunged for Envy.

"We'll need to go to the store today. I don't have anything for breakfast tomorrow," Winry rambled.

"That's fine. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a shower first." Rose hadn't bothered to change clothes or anything before sitting down. She'd been _that_ hungry.

"Sure! Envy, would you like to come with us?"

The guy moved a couple of fried potatoes around on his plate, never looking up, and shrugged.

Rose placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at her. "C'mon, please? You can help us pick out some stuff that you like!"

"If that's what you want."

I made the sound of a whip with my mouth, earning a dagger-sharp glare from Envy. A sharp kick to my shin had me spitting out expletives. I was about to yell at him when I realized it had come from Winry's direction, not his. I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms, grumpy. I was trying to make a joke, lessen the tension. Damn it, I was _trying._

"What, alchemist? You don't do things for your girl?" he jabbed.

My face reddened. I glared, angry that he was able to embarrass me so easily. So I decided to throw it back at him. "Are you implying that Rose is _your_ girl? I wasn't aware you two had made it official."

His eyes widened, his shoulders jerked back, and his cheeks grew twice as red as mine. "Well I- Uh, well..."

Satisfied, I smirked at him.

Winry, ever the peace-maker, stepped in to dispel the awkwardness. "Very funny, Edward. You know they just get along well, like us."

Another sigh escaped my lips. Envy smiled tauntingly at me.

"Alright!" Rose stood up. "I'm going to go take a shower. I'll just be a few minutes."

I couldn't resist another jab at him. "Want to join her, Envy?"

A hard slap on my cheek sent my head to the left.

"Edward, don't be so crude!" my mechanic chastised.

I placed my hand on my cheek. "Jeez, can't you take a joke?"


	10. Chapter 10

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I'm sorry there has been larger amounts of time between my chapters. I'm moving across the country in two weeks, so I'm trying to set everything up... Ugh. But enough excuses, on to the story!**

 _Envy POV_

I ran my hand over the spines, quickly scanning the titles, having most of them memorized. There were many books that I had already read in my long life, and many I had read in the past few weeks. Edward's father's-my father's collection of alchemy books was extensive, and full of quality. Reading seemed to be the only form of entertainment in the small town of Resembool. Rose had been reading some things to me when I was more distant, but I had regained control of myself and I now devoured books quietly on my own.

Alchemy had always piqued my interest, even though I had never been able to do anything with my knowledge. I had used the information I got to my advantage when manipulating humans with the goal of creating a Philosopher's Stone. I had watched alchemy change and evolve over the years, and it was interesting to compare where it was at the beginning of my life to where it was at this moment in time.

"In here again?" Rose's gentle voice came from behind me.

I turned to her, a book in my hand, held slightly open. I had just found a title I hadn't read when she entered the study. "There isn't much else to do."

She giggled. "I suppose you're right. Is it another alchemy book?"

"I'm not sure the old man owned anything else."

She came over and opened the book up completely, running her eyes over a few words. As she did this, she spoke absentmindedly. "Why don't you try to work on some of this? Actually perform alchemy? You must know so much, as old as you are."

"Homunculi can't do alchemy," came my automatic reply. I realized what I was saying about half-way through the sentence so the end turned up almost in question form.

Rose's thoughts followed the same path as mine. "Well, you're not one of those anymore."

"That's something I've been thinking about ever since you started reading these books." Edward's voice startled me, coming from the doorway.

Both Rose and I faced him, neither one knowing how long he'd been there.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "If you had a problem with me reading them, you should have said something."

Edward shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I've been watching you to see if you'd try to do it. I'm confused why you haven't."

Rose looked up at me, confused. "You really haven't even thought about it?"

It was my turn to shake my head. "Hasn't crossed my mind even once. It's just always been an unchangeable fact of life that I can't perform any kind of alchemy, unless you consider my shape-shifting alchemy."

"Do you think you could do it now?" The young alchemist asked me.

I turned my eyes back to the book in my hand, focusing on a transmutation circle that had been printed on the page. My eyebrow lifted curiously. "That is an interesting question."

XXXXX

"What are you doing, Envy?" the younger Elric brother asked.

I was down on my hands and knees, my face pressed to the ground, eyes closed in frustration. "I'm fighting with my brain."

"Um...Can I be of any help?"

I lifted myself into a sitting position, staring down at the design I had made in the dirt in front of me.

Al surveyed it for a moment, then gasped. "Is that a transmutation circle?!"

"It is."

"What are you trying to do?"

"It's probably just a silly idea, but I wanted to see if I could do alchemy." I gazed at my simple creation, refusing to meet the kid's eyes. I waited for the jab, the mocking tone. But it never came.

"Well it makes sense that you could do it, now that you're human. Are you having trouble finding the flow of energy?"

I barked a short, humorless laugh. "Actually, I haven't even attempted yet."

"Why?"

I ducked my head in embarrassment. "I'm afraid... afraid to find out that I still can't do it, even as a human. If that's the case, then it's a lack of ability on my part, not something that was denied to me by biological factors."

A metal hand patted me on the back. "Don't worry. I have faith in you."

I gave the boy a confused, half-smile. "To be honest with you, ever since I've been human I've had this feeling... Almost like I'm still trying to use my old ability, sort of like how people can 'feel' limbs they've lost."

"Oh, that reminds me of how automail works! The brain still sends out signals to the missing limb, and the mechanisms in the prosthetic take advantage of those signals. So whatever allowed you to shape-shift must still be there. How did you do that, anyway?"

I shrugged. "It was just energy. I was able to circulate it throughout my body and change things. I've never really had to think about it. It was something I did unconsciously, like breathing."

Alphonse stared at me, looking about as surprised as a suit of armor could. "Envy..."

I looked at him, concerned for his mental health. "What?"

"That sounds like Brother's explanation of how he uses alchemy without transmutation circles!"

"Huh." The surprise was fully identifiable in my voice. "You know, that kind of alchemy used to be very common back in the early days."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Fullmetal thinks he's big and bad. He's just rediscovering a technique that was forgotten so long ago that it had completely died out."

Alphonse breathed out a sigh in vast amazement. "That's so cool! Well maybe you can redirect those old feelings, the energy, and perform alchemy that way! With no circle!"

My eyes turned back to the circle on the ground. Al's theories seemed right. Perhaps I should attempt it. At least that way if it didn't work, I could tell myself I failed because I hadn't been through the gate. I stood up and filled my lungs with the fresh, invigorating air. "I guess it can't hurt."

I barely noticed Rose and Edward walking up as I clapped my hands together. The smack resounded over the quiet hills of Resembool and the crackle of alchemic energy crawled around me. I felt the familiar circulation of energy throughout my body, and I smiled. It was like receiving a hug from a familiar friend after a traumatic event, the violent relief. My hand reached out and I willed the energy to work for me, to change the environment near my feet. My hair lifted in reaction to the static in the air as a pole began to form up from the earth. It grew into a long staff and I gripped it just before it fell. I held it away from myself, eyeing it as if it were a deadly snake.

"What the hell?!" Edward screamed.

This broke my trance and I turned to witness his temper tantrum.

"How the hell can you do that? You've never attempted human transmutation, you've never been in the gate. _How?!_ "

"Brother, please. Don't ruin this. This is an accomplishment for Envy!" Al yet again chastised his older brother.

"That's not-But there's no-I don't understand!"

"Why does it matter?" Rose said quietly, gaining all of our attention. She looked happy and very, _very_ proud. "Who cares how he did it. It's amazing, and we should just be happy for him."

Edward looked between Rose and I a few times, but them screwed his face up into an expression of annoyance. He turned away and stomped back to the house, muttering to himself the entire way.

Al groaned in exasperation, and followed behind his brother dutifully. "Brother..."

Rose walked up to me, grabbed my empty hand, and gazed up into my eyes. "You're amazing."

I felt my cheeks grow warm. "Well, uh... Thank you. I just made a little staff. I'm sure plenty of other people could make much better."

She shook her head. "That's not what I'm talking about. I can't claim to know anything about the quality of a transmutation, so I won't judge anything of the sort. But I do know a whole lot about people, and I _can_ judge you as a person. You've grown a lot just in the few months I've known you. You've let go of a lot of your bitterness and hatred, and opened yourself up to others. Maybe not in the 'throw all of your feelings out there' kind of a way, but at least you talk to people. You respect others. Even when you and Ed have your squabbles, you speak to him as if he's your equal." She stopped a looked to the side, blushing slightly. "Well I'm rambling now. My point is that you're growing as a person, and I'm proud of you and what you're doing."

I smiled at her. _Really_ smiled. Her words made me happier than I could ever explain. Just as I was about to attempt, I heard a loud _snap._

Flames flew towards Rose and I. I pushed Rose by the shoulder, attempting to push us both to the ground, with the goal of sliding under the flames. I wasn't fast enough though, so a few flames connected with the top of my arm. We landed on the ground and my hand immediately went to my burned flesh. It was burned pretty badly.

"Homunculus!"

The voice that yelled that word sent a wave of multiple emotions through me-anger, amusement, blood-lust, and finally, _fear._

I was in no position to fight this man.

Rose gripped my shoulder tightly. "Why is the military here?"

I made direct eye contact with the Flame alchemist as I answered her. "I have no idea."


	11. Chapter 11

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **Every chapter brings us closer to the big event I've been planning since I began writing this story! I am so excited to get it out there!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Edward POV_

"I can't believe this! I had to go through so much crap just to have this ability and Envy just decides out of nowhere he can do it too." I groaned in complete frustration.

"Ed, you can't let this bother you. Envy's been alive for a long time, he knows things," Al defended the sin. "Besides, he was just telling me about the flow of energy he used to change his body. It was exactly like how you described the way you perform your alchemy, so I threw the idea out there. If you have to blame someone, blame me."

"Damn it, Al. This has nothing to-" I was cut off by a loud explosion. "What the...?"

Al and I ran outside, just in time to see Envy clap his hands together and slam them on the ground. A thin wall of earth flew up just in time to take the impact of the flames that flew towards him. The wall collapsed and I could see that Envy was shaken to the core underneath his mask of calm. He was barely concealing his fear.

Then I noticed Colonel Mustang standing across the yard from him, evidently the source of the flames. He was poised, ready to hurtle more flames at Envy. Lieutenant Hawkeye was with him, her hand placed on her gun's handle.

"Wait a minute, damn it!" Envy yelled.

Mustang snapped, sending more fire at Envy, which was met with another weak wall. "Why would I do that?"

"You're going to hit her!" Envy pointed to Rose. "Let her move out of the way!"

Rose was not having it. "I don't think so! I'm not going anywhere." She turned to Mustang. "You need to stop attacking him! You don't know-"

Apparently the colonel had no patience. "So you're on their side then? Too bad for you."

I started running towards Envy and Rose as I saw Mustang raising his arm. Just as he snapped, I clapped my hands together, and created my own wall in front of the two. It was much thicker and more sturdy than anything Envy had been able to create, so it took the blast from Mustang's attack like it was nothing.

The colonel turned to me. "Fullmetal, what are you doing?"

"If you'd let one of us talk for just a second, you might figure out what's going on!" I spat at him.

"There's no time for talking when the enemy is right there!"

"He's not the enemy!" my little brother yelled. "Envy's human now! He's not with the homunculi anymore!"

"Human?" Mustang said the word like he was tasting it, trying to understand what it meant. After a moment of deliberation, Mustang lifted his hand. "People don't change. If he's human, that means he's vulnerable." He snapped again, this time using his uncanny ability to pinpoint his aim, sending the flames around my wall before I had the chance to react.

Somehow, Envy managed to pull up a wall beside himself quick enough that the flames couldn't reach him. This wall didn't collapse and was even taller than mine. It was too good to be Envy's work, I soon realized.

"Envy, what have you gotten yourself into?" Dante's voice came from the other side of the field.

My entire body tensed. The fact that she was in my home town frightened me. She could annihilate the entire town of Resembool without even working up a sweat.

Envy looked helpless. He had fallen on to his ass and was staring at Dante with a mix of fear and sadness. Seeing her was exactly what he didn't need at the moment.

Dante looked at Mustang. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Colonel. I can't let you kill this one." Her eyes went back to Envy, the sardonic smile still plastered on her face. "I see you've embraced the human lifestyle. Look at you, you look like a real man."

Envy had no reply for his old master.

Rose did, however. She stood up and started walking towards Dante. "I don't know who you are, or who you think you are, but you need to leave him alone."

The ex-homunculus reached out to stop her, but couldn't find the strength to stand and catch her. "Rose, don't go near her!"

Dante chuckled. "How comical. You care about her, don't you?" She pressed her palms together, sending a rock formation in the shape of a snake towards Rose. It picked up the girl in its mouth and brought her to Dante's feet.

"Rose!" Envy found a hidden reserve of strength, got to his feet, and ran at Dante. I thought he was going to get close enough to use alchemy, but once he was in range, he kept running.

Apparently Dante had figured the same thing I did, because she looked equally surprised as myself when Envy ran up and punched her square in the jaw. She lost her balance and fell to the ground, skidding a few feet back. Envy bent down next to Rose to see if she was okay. This left him wide open. I saw Dante begin to transmute some sort of blade from where she sat.

"Envy!" I heard myself yelling. "Watch out!"

He turned just in time to see what was happening. Dante finished her blade and ran at the two in front of her. Envy didn't have much time to react so he simply turned and sat with his hand out, a protective gesture. Seeing him in that position, in combination with the familiar way Rose had braided his hair that morning, gave me a hard case of deja vu. I saw myself in him. I had sat exactly like that in front of Winry protecting her from Scar once upon a time. I knew how useless it had been at the time, but I also remembered that it was the only thing I could think to do. Envy must have realized offering his life was the only way to protect Rose's. And the fact that he was willing to make that sacrifice spoke volumes to the kind of person he'd become.

I was suddenly very thankful that Winry had decided to go to the neighboring town with Pinako for some special ingredient for dinner.

Dante stopped short. Her look of surprise slowly faded into a dark smirk. "So... You've got a girl now, you've taken up alchemy, without using a transmutation circle... And you even braid your hair. You're so much like your half brother already-" She grabbed Envy's wrist. "-so why don't I help you get one step closer to being exactly like him?"

Things started to move in slow motion, most likely because my brain had put together what was going to happen. Dante lifted her make-shift blade high in the air and began the downward swing. Rose screamed, trying to pull Envy out of the way, unable to move him because of Dante's grip. Realization of what was going to happen to him spread over Envy's face. He, too, tried to free himself, to no avail. Even though I knew it would be of no help, I started to run towards them, a sad attempt to stop the carnage that was about to occur.

The blade connected with Envy's right arm, and continued in it's arc as if nothing impeded its journey. It sliced right through the limb, removing the arm all the way up to the shoulder.

Exactly the amount of arm I was missing.

Blood started pouring from the fresh wound. Envy watched as Dante threw his arm on the ground next to her, then turned his head slowly to the stump that was left. He gazed at it for a moment before a scream of agony ripped up his throat.

"Envy!" Rose's voice echoed off the mountains around us.

Time went back to moving at regular speed. I clapped and slammed my hands on the ground, sending a rock fist at Dante's face. She responded with one of her signature serpents, smashing it into my formation. I turned to the colonel, who had been frozen where he stood with his subordinate. "Colonel! I could use some help here! If you haven't figured it out yet, that woman is the enemy here!"

He shook his head and regained control of himself. "Right."

Multiple explosions happened around Dante. She covered her face in defense against the heat and flying rock bits.

I transmuted my automail into a blade and swung at her. She was able to move enough out of the way so that I only grazed her arm. I tried to recover quickly and swing again, but she punched me in the back, right in the perfect spot, knocking the wind out of me. I fell, gasping for air, just as a dome of earth closed over me.

"Damn it!" I choked out between gasps. After I regained my breath, I was able to think clearly enough to break down the dome over me.

Dante was nowhere to be found.

I turned to Mustang. "Did you see where she went?"

He shook his head and he ran up to me. "No. I was trapped under the same thing you were."'

"Ah hell."

"Envy, hold on!" Rose pleaded.

My legs took me over to them. Rose was holding Envy somewhat in a sitting position. He was leaning back on her, his head resting on her shoulder. His eyes were shut tight in pain, his left hand gripping where his arm used to be. The guy's blood was all over the ground around him and Rose's hands and shirt.

"We need to get him bandaged up. He'll die if we don't get the bleeding stopped soon," I said. "Al! Come help me get him inside!"

My brother ran over to us and took Envy from Rose's lap. He practically sprinted back into the house.

I helped Rose to her feet. "Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me. He's the one who's in danger." She began walking towards the house. "I have to go bandage him up. Winry's not here to do it."

Once again, I was grateful that Winry had been absent.


	12. Chapter 12

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **So, I apologize yet again for the long absence. You might have noticed in a previous chapter that I said I was moving across the country... Well I did it! While I'm so happy to finally be here with my husband, things just keep going wrong. There's lots of paperwork, we've been sleeping on an air mattress, eating microwavable meals, blah blah. Anyway, I am so sorry it's been this long between chapters. Life is starting to mellow out so hopefully I'll be better about all this.**

 **I am still so happy with this story. I'd love to hear your thoughts, as always. Do you guys have any idea where I'm going with this? :p**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

I begged the universe to bring back that original moment of painless confusion.

The few seconds after I had lost my arm, I felt nothing. It was as if the arm had still been there. Then it had gone numb, like my arm had fallen asleep. I couldn't move it, but I still didn't feel any pain. Then I'd seen Dante throw my arm to the side. My stomach lurched as I watched it roll across the dirt. My mind had been trying its hardest not to let me put the pieces together, but to no avail. It took one look down at the stump that was left for the realization to break through.

Dante had severed my arm.

As soon as I felt the pain, everything else stopped registering. I couldn't hear anything but my screaming, my vision had gone silver-white, and I could feel nothing but the searing agony of the lost limb. I was vaguely aware that I was being moved. People were probably discussing what they should do with me. I begged them silently to let me die. There was no coming back from this pain.

Then, even in my state, I wondered if Rose was alright. I worried that Dante had done something to hurt her. A new wave of pain washed away the worry in an instant.

For the next couple of hours, things came in flashes of clarity. I looked up to see Rose-thank goodness she'd survived-with bandages, a bottle of alcohol, and a very serious look on her face. She was talking, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. She opened the bottle of alcohol and dumped it over my new wound, and I lost control of my senses again.

My next flash was of Edward staring at me in horror. He must have thought about the time he'd lost his arm, now being able to see what others had seen. He tried to conceal his emotion as best he could, but I could plainly see his aversion. He wanted to leave the room, and he should have. It just occurred to me that he was holding my left arm down before I lost it for a third time.

The only other notable flash I had was of the automail engineer showing up, looking just as horrified as Edward when she realized what was happening in her home. She'd handed everything to her grandmother and ran over to assist Rose. Finally, as they finished up bandaging it, the pain was starting to dull. With it, my consciousness slipped away and I mercifully drifted into an uncomfortable slumber.

XXXXX

I awoke to the feel of something tugging gently on my hair.

My eyes fluttered open and I was met with a white ceiling. My mouth was dry as hell and my mind still had not escaped the fog of sleep.

"Are you awake?" came Rose's soft-spoken question.

I blinked hard once more, coming to full consciousness, and twisted my head until I found her face. She was smiling at me, running a brush through my entirely tangle-free locks. I made a noise of confusion.

She giggled. "You're sort of awake, then. I see."

I lifted my hands to my eyes to wipe away some of the sleep-and I was startled when only one hand made it to my face. I looked down to find the stump and the entire scene with Dante replayed in my mind.

My breathing picked up pace, and I felt my heart rate jump around. I started to try to sit up, some stupid, vain attempt to run away from the place where my arm should have been.

Rose gripped my shoulders, holding me in place. "Shh, Envy, it's okay! Calm down. You'll reopen your wounds and we'll have to go through the same thing we did last week."

I held my breath for a moment, then attempted to break evenly. My heart would not obey me, however, and continued to race. My eyes stayed fixated on the my stump.

"Weird, isn't it?" Edward said.

I jerked my head up and saw that the alchemist had been sitting in the chair in the corner of the room across from me. His right foot was balanced on his metal leg, visible only because he was in his boxers. He wore no shirt and his hair was tousled, out of his usual braid. It appeared he had just woken up.

"Yes, it is." I said. What else was there to say? It was beyond weird. It was humiliating, degrading, horrifying, and a million other things, and the best he could come up with was weird?

"You get used to it, believe it or not." He stood up. "Rose, I'll be downstairs if you need anything. I think I'm going to help Winry with breakfast."

And just like that, so casual, he loped out of the room and down the stairs.

"Why was he in here?" I asked Rose after a few minutes.

"He's been coming in here every morning to check on you. He usually sits longer than that, but I think he's embarrassed. He probably doesn't want you knowing that he cares. That comment he made to me before he left? He's never said anything of the sort before." She smiled warmly at the doorway that the boy in question had just exited.

So Edward cared enough to come in and check on me. The idea was so foreign that I started looking for the motives behind it. When I came up with nothing, the only logical thing left to assume was the simple answer-he cared.

"I wonder why he cares. He never has before."

Rose began to braid my hair. "I have an answer for that, straight from Edward himself. He saw himself in you. It wasn't hard to do, what with the connections that woman pointed out. But he said it went further than the braided hair and alchemy. You protected me in a mindless manner, simply throwing yourself in front of the proverbial bullet. He said it reminded him of the way _he_ had protected someone before. We all know who he means, even though he didn't mention a name. But he said that alone showed him that you really _had_ changed. Going off of that, I think that he's starting to consider the idea of you as his brother. He didn't say that specifically, but it's an inference of mine."

Edward's words came back to me. _"You get used to it, believe it or not."_ That was as close to a reassurance I'd ever gotten from him, and it was also the nicest thing he'd ever said to me. He wouldn't have said that if he still hated me, would he?

It bothered me that I cared so much what Edward Elric thought of me. He and I had been enemies for the longest time, longer than he even knew. So why did it matter?

It wasn't until way later that I found out why it mattered. For the moment, it served as a mild annoyance.

"You're healing very well, by the way," Rose told me. "I'm thankful."

I was thankful as well. Just then, something she'd said earlier resurfaced in my mind. "Hold on. You said something earlier about going through what we'd gone through a week ago. What did you mean?"

"You've been out for a week, silly."

"What?!"

"Don't worry. It's probably a good thing. We did a lot of bandage changes over those few days and that would have been terrible to be awake for. It made the process easier for us and much less terrible for you." She finished fastening my braid and came to sit next to me so I could see her better.

"Well... Good." Again, I was at a loss for words.

Rose placed her hand on my face, looking at me with so much care in her eyes. "I'm really glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if..." Tears could be seen sitting on the rim of her eyelid, ready to fall at any moment.

My heart jerked, feeling regret for losing my arm. It wasn't the way that I'd lost it that bothered me, I viewed it as the only acceptable reason. I regretted the face that I couldn't sit up and wrap my arms around her to comfort her. I grabbed her other hand that was sitting in her lap and squeezed it, closing my eyes. "Hey, don't cry. I'm nothing to cry over."

A sharp pain broke across my scalp as she grabbed a fistful of my loose bangs and pulled my head up, earning a look of confusion from me.

"Don't say that!" She blinked away her tears. "You're worth more than you think, Envy."

My already dry throat glued itself shut. It was the second time in less than an hour that someone had shown they cared about me. My long dead heart, for lack of better words, had no idea how to handle it.

Her face softened and she released my hair. "I'm sorry. You're probably in enough pain without me pulling your hair out. Do you need anything? Water? Your voice sounds a little rougher than usual."

All I could do was nod.

"Okay. I'll be right back with some." She stood and left the room, as casual as Edward had.

 _How did you get here, Envy? You haven't done anything good. How could you possibly deserve all of this love?_ My thoughts whirled around in my head. I felt so many things-confusion, anger, humiliation, defeat... One thing that stuck out from the rest was this odd warmth. I couldn't quite place it, but it was a comfortable feeling. It was something that I didn't want to lose, that was for sure.

There had been so many emotions that I'd felt since my time with the Elrics, Winry, and Rose that I hadn't felt in ages, if ever. Certainly not in my time as a homunculus. I didn't remember much from my human life, but I was sure it hadn't been anything like this. It left me feeling a bit out of sorts, so unlike myself that it was jarring. It was as if I was waiting for the old Envy to come back, but I wasn't sure I wanted that.

I sat there for however long debating which Envy I liked better. There were plus sides to both. My old self was almost always content with his life, at least when he wasn't thinking about how he'd been abandoned by his only family. He ran around wreaking havoc on anything and everyone around him, and he got off on doing so. Not much bothered him, and even when he was bothered it was simple hatred he had to contend with. This Envy I had become had to struggle with so many more emotions. However, this Envy also had people that cared about him, a relatively calm life, and the chance to do whatever he wanted. It was a choice between comfort and opportunity. A very hard decision indeed.

Rose reentered the room with the cup of water and held it out to met as she sat back in her spot on my bed. I took the cup and gulped it down, giving my thanks.

"Who's room am I in anyway?" I asked.

"Ed and Al's room. Edward offered, since Al didn't really need a bed and he could make do with the couch," she explained.

"I don't understand why you didn't leave _me_ on the couch."

"We thought you needed a quiet place to rest. Not that our noise would have woken you up anyhow. You were out cold!"

My eyes turned back to the ceiling, confirming that I was already tired of looking at it. I braced my elbow against the bed and began to push myself up into a sitting position.

Rose helped push my back all the way up, but she was concerned. "Are you sure you want to sit up?"

My stump ached in protest. "I don't want to sit up. I want to stand and walk around. I'm tired of being the patient."

I had figured that Rose would argue with me, but she just helped me get wherever I wanted to go. She served as a crutch under my good arm until I adjusted to the feeling of being completely vertical. She helped me put on a pair of pants-I refused to wear a shirt, not wanting to feel the loose sleeve sway without something to fill it-and stayed close to me and I walked out of the room and down the stairs. I was surprisingly stable, if it were just myself who was surprised.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I almost ran smack into Winry.

"Oh, Ed told me you were awake! I didn't think you'd be up walking yet though. I was about to bring you this." The engineer held up the plate of food she'd been holding in her hand. It held the usual stuff-bacon, eggs, and potatoes. "I wasn't sure how hungry you'd be, so I just made a normal portion. You don't have to eat it all if you don't want to."

The smell finally hit me and I realized that I was _ravenous._ I hadn't eaten in a week, after all. I reached out for the plate. "I think I'll be able to get seconds, actually. Thank you."

I chose to sit on the couch in the living room instead of at the table. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to use my left hand effectively or not, and I didn't feel like either being made fun of or getting multiple looks of sympathy. Losing my arm was something that could cause them to treat me like a child, and I didn't want that. My fears were unjustified though, because I could use my left hand just fine, at least for this task.

Rose came over to sit next to me, her plate in hand. She didn't offer to help me, as I expected, nor did she ask me how I was doing. She just sat there, eating with me in companionable silence, watching a couple of birds fly around by the window. I silently thanked her. It was just what I needed at that moment.

After my second plate had been demolished, I decided I was full. Rose offered to take my plate to the kitchen with hers, which I conceded to. Just as she left, Winry came over to stand next to where I sat, holding her hands behind her back.

"I have an offer for you," she said excitedly. "Feel free to deny it if you really don't want it, but I think it's a good idea. We all do."

I had a feeling I knew what was behind her back, but I was still surprised when she pulled out a newly made automail arm. It looked similar to Edward's but larger and a bit of a different style. For what felt like the millionth time, I had absolutely no idea what to say.

Rose came back to sit next to me, this time placing her hand on my knee. "C'mon. It's already fit for you. Winry got the measurements while you were sleeping. It'll be good for you!"

I just stared at the metal limb. "I..."

Edward came to stand next to Winry. He was fully dressed now and had his hair braided, looking much more like the Edward I was used to. "What have you got to lose, Envy?"

I looked down at my hand, clenched, sitting next to Rose's on my leg.

 _What_ do _I have to lose?_


	13. Chapter 13

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I don't really have anything to say this time. So, happy reading!**

 _Edward POV_

Metal smacked against my chest, throwing me backwards onto my ass. "Damn it!"

Envy coiled himself back into a battle-ready stance, his automail flashing in the light. He smirked.

I grunted in frustration as I stood back up.

"Something wrong, pipsqeak?"

My eye twitched violently. "Don't call me a pipsqueak!" I looked off to the side, somewhat ashamed.

"Brother's just mad because he thinks you're doing everything better than he did," Al informed him.

"Al! What the hell!"

My brother laughed.

Envy scoffed. "Oh come on. You're the jealous one now? The irony is beyond ridiculous."

 _I'm envious of Envy. Hilarious._

Unable to think of a witty reply quickly enough, I ran at him, forming my usual blade on top of my metal hand.

Envy raised his own automail to deflect the incoming attack. "Woah there. If you wreck this arm, your girl's gonna kill you _and_ me."

"You just can't resist making a jab at me, can you?" I brought my arm up to swing again, but was stopped by a wrench hitting the back of my head.

"He's right, Edward! Put the blade away!" Winry shouted. "It's bad enough that you two insist on hitting each other."

I rubbed the back of my head, glaring at my childhood friend.

While my attention was focused elsewhere, Envy took advantage of the opportunity. He was in front of my in a second. I turned my head just in time to see the amused smile on his face for a second before all of the breath flew from my lungs. Envy had thrown his knee into my abdomen, letting me fall onto my face afterwards.

"There, I win," Envy announced.

A sense of diluted wonder took hold of me as I looked up at him. He placed his metal hand on his hip and popped his left leg out, standing in Envy's old signature stance. The only difference was that he didn't appear to be looking down on me, but _at me_ instead. Almost as an equal. I couldn't believe it had only been 6 months since his surgery. He was a master of his automail already.

That day was forever burned into my mind...

XXXXX

 _My brother and I peeked in the door, unable to curb our curiosity._

 _"Edward! I need your help!" Winry yelled when she saw me._

 _I just stared as Envy's back arched with the waves of pain. I knew exactly what he was feeling. It was a type of pain unlike all others, one that could never be forgotten. The look on his face, the amount of blood, the way his body would jerk at random times... It was a horrific picture that made me wonder if that was what I'd looked like, if that was what Winry and Pinako had seen._

 _"Edward!"_

 _I was finally able to tear my eyes from gruesome scene to look at Winry. "What?"_

 _"Come help me hold him down. Al, you too."_

 _My brother was as captivated by the scene as I had been._

 _I put my fist against his chest. "Alphonse, c'mon."_

 _He merely nodded and walked over to the bed, placing his hands firmly on Envy's ankles._

 _My legs brought me to the bed in a similar state, where I put one hand on his left arm and the other on his chest. Up close, I could see his eyes darting around like those of a wild animal. It didn't seem like he was actually looking at anything. He was lost in a darkness none of us could see, and no one could pull him out but himself._

 _Pinako brought over the disinfectant and poured it over the place Winry was working. I watched in fascination as she expertly executed the procedure, every now and then looking back to Envy's face. A few times it seemed like he regained a bit of clarity but it was never for very long._

 _At one point his struggling became even too much for Al and I, so we had to take a break. Winry stopped her work and we all stepped back, giving Envy room to breathe. His chest heaved with every breath, none seeming to give him enough oxygen. Water had begun to pool on the edges of his eyelids and it fell from the corner as he scrunched them closed. He tried his best to stay quiet but every now and then a small moan or whimper would escape._

 _Rose walked into the room quietly, looking at Envy with a pained expression. It was as if she felt every sharp stab and dull pressure with him. She walked over to the head of the bed, ignoring all of us. She put her hands on the sides of Envy's face gently, moving away the hair that had stuck to his sweat-covered forehead._

 _His eyes flashed opened, evidence that she had startled him. When he focused on her his entire body relaxed. He suddenly had all the oxygen he could ever need, his eyes were calm, and he loosened his grip on the sheets. The only evidence that he was in pain was the slight shaking. Whether he was trying to hide the pain in front of Rose or her presence really helped him, I wasn't sure. Either way, it allowed the surgery to continue._

 _"Are you ready to start again, Envy?" Winry asked._

 _He closed his eyes, dragging in a deep breath, and nodded._

 _Rose bent down and placed her forehead against Envy's, running a hand through his green locks._

 _Once Winry began her work again, his body stiffened once more, but he didn't moved, with the exception of moving his legs a couple times and gripping the sheets. Again, he attempted to stay quiet with the same results as before._

 _For the rest of the entire surgery, Rose remained in that position, continuously running her hand through his hair. Al and I stayed as a back up in case he began to struggle again._

 _After everything was over and done with, everyone left the room but Rose. She stayed the rest of the day, and the entire night, with him._

XXXXX

I lifted myself from the ground and leveled my gaze at Envy. I admired him for the way he'd worked through his physical therapy. He'd passed every milestone quicker than I had, which was extremely surprising to everyone. It normally takes three years for the therapy. I did it in one, and here he'd done it in six months. Alphonse argued that it was somehow related to the flexibility his body used to have as a homunculus. It was my opinion, though I'd never tell anyone this, that it was pure will and strength. Rose had a part in it too. He always seemed to do best when she was around. I sometimes wondered if I'd have done better had I had the same kind of motivation with Winry...

I shook my head, knocking those thoughts away.

"Did you come back yet?" Envy asked.

"What?"

"You space out a hell of a lot, pipsqueak."

He'd walked up pretty close to me, so I pushed him away by the shoulder. "You wanna go again, freak?"

He crouched and brought his hands up defensively. "Any time."

I ran up to him and launched into our usual routine. Over the times I'd sparred with Envy, I realized something had changed in the way he fought. I was used to his acrobatic style accompanied by strangely heavy kicks and punches. While his attacks were still heavy, he lacked the inhuman strength of his homunculus body and he was not nearly as graceful. The only time he did any sort of a flip was to reorient himself when knocked into the air. He didn't dance around my punches, but instead deflected them. I was also unused to being able to actually move the guy. As a homunculus, he was so heavy that none of my attacks could even stumble him. Now, landing a punch knocked him back a few steps, if not on the ground.

I couldn't deny that at first, it felt good to hit him. It felt as if I were releasing some pent up emotion. After a while though, it felt almost like...bonding. I could never completely drop my guard around him, a problem forged from the years of being enemies, but the wall seemed to be getting shorter and shorter as time went on.

Envy brought his right arm up to deflect my punch. Our automail scraped together and he grunted louder than usual. He took a few steps back and bent down on one knee. His flesh hand came up to his metal shoulder just as a bit of blood started to run down his chest.

"Alright, that's enough," Rose said. She wasn't alarmed. This was something that happened often. It was the only signal Envy would accept as a reason to stop.

Envy stood back up, working his arm around in a circle. "It's not bad. Just a little too much for the day."

Winry came up to inspect his automail. "I can't believe I have to worry about two of you wrecking your arms now. You guys are going to kill me."

"Well if Envy would have given it more time to heal..." I muttered.

"Oh hush," my mechanic chastised. She looked up at Envy. "Just be careful with it. No fighting for the rest of today, and probably tomorrow. You didn't do any major damage. It's just pulling on some of the weaker sections of your skin."

Rose walked over to Envy's side. "It might be a terrible time to ask, but I was about to run to the store. Would you like to come with me?"

"If you would like. Let me clean this up first and then..." He was cut off by Rose holding up a wet rag. He smirked and took it, wiping the blood from his shoulder. "Would you happen to have a shirt in your other hand?"

She smiled. "Perhaps." And of course, she pulled one from behind her back.

"Thank you." He put the shirt on and they left for the store shortly after.

"Gag me," I said.

"It's cute, Edward." Winry glared at me with a strange look on her face.

"I don't ever want to be that mushy."

"You're heartless, I swear." She turned and stomped away.

I looked to my brother, confused. "What did I do?"


	14. Chapter 14

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **I'm attempting to bring back some of Envy's sass without making him an outright ass. How am I doing?**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

The grass swayed around me, brushing against my arms and legs. Rose and I had been on a walk in the nearby woods and found a large clearing that looked perfect for relaxing in. We sat down near the edge, under the shade of a tree, but somehow ended up lying down while talking to each other.

I flipped over onto my stomach, my hair circling around my shoulders. Rose immediately started braiding it, a habit of hers by this time. I made a noise of contentment, which I was immediately embarrassed by. She didn't seem to notice, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.

As I was closing my eyes, I noticed something strange at the other end of the field. It was a different green than the rest of the trees, which is what made it stick out. I opened my eyes fully and pushed myself up onto my elbows to get a better look.

I still couldn't quite make out what it was, only that it was moving. My body seemed to move of its own accord, standing up and taking a few steps forward.

"What is it?" Rose asked, sitting up herself.

I began to notice the enormity of whatever it was I was looking at. It was _huge._

When I didn't answer Rose, she stood and walked over to me, threading her soft fleshy fingers through my hard metal ones. "Envy..."

At that moment, the thing lurched out from the trees, revealing it's massive, green, dog-like head. A smile broke across its familiar face and laughed maniacally.

 _"Look at you. You're even more pathetic than I thought you could be,"_ it said to me with its strange dual-tone voice.

I finally recognized it just as its massive tail revealed itself.

It was me.

The beast that I used to be leered at me. " _What? Do I scare you?"_

I pushed Rose behind me as I eyed the many human faces surrounding its neck and shoulders.

"What is that?" Rose gasped in horror.

"A monster," I told her.

 _"A monster? That hurts. Do you really think of yourself that way?"_ My voice was evident underneath its deeper tones.

"Envy..." Rose gripped the back of my shirt, afraid.

 _"This is a waste of time. Come here!"_ The emerald beast lunged for us, mouth wide open.

I pushed Rose back with all of my strength, then ran forward to meet it head on. It brought its mouth down to engulf me, but I braced my foot against its bottom jaw and my automail arm against its top, keeping it from closing its teeth around me.

 _"You're not even who I want,"_ it spat at me. It brought it's head up, then swung one of its many arms at me, throwing me across the clearing and into a tree.

My whole body ached and refused to listen to me. I heard Rose's scream from where she sat, but still I was unable to move. The only thing I could do was lift my head in time to see the monster throw its head onto the ground where she sat.

XXXXX

My eyes burst open and I gasped in horror. The white ceiling above me had stars dancing across it as my vision adjusted. My breathing was ragged as I flipped myself off the bed, landing on my hands and knees. My wild locks fell around me, forming a protective barrier between myself and the nightmare I had just awoken from, though it reminded me eerily of the dream in question. My shoulders heaved with every breath. I put my forehead against the hard floor, attempting to settle myself.

 _Just a dream,_ I told myself.

It had just been a dream, but its meaning was entirely clear to me, whether that was its intended purpose or not. Even though I was no longer a homunculus, I was bringing the dangers of that past life into Rose's. Dante had already almost gotten to her, my lack of a right arm being the proof of that. Mustang, while trying to attack me, almost hit Rose in the process. Scar had been the first one to attack me after my fall, and I was almost certain he would try again if given the chance.

I slammed my metal hand on the ground. " _Damn it!"_

A soft knock came at my door, followed by someone calling my name. The last person I expected, too: Edward.

He opened the door and took a few steps inside. "Are you alright?"

I looked at him from under my hair. "Is Rose alright?"

The alchemist looked confused. "Uh, yeah. She went with Winry and Granny to pick up some stuff from town. Something about better tools for our maintenance..."

My lips parted, releasing a sigh, and the tremors that had overcome my body finally ceased. The last bits of the dream faded into unrealistic images created my imagination.

"What happened?" he asked.

I pushed myself back into a sitting position and leaned my head against the side of my bed, leveling my gaze at him. "Edward, how do you do it?"

"Huh?"

"How do you maintain relationships with people even when you know your very presence is a dangerous toxin to them?"

He looked down. "You mean how my messing with things has made Winry a hostage?"

I nodded, though he wasn't looking at me.

His hand balled into a fist, then released after a couple of minutes had passed. He raised his head with a tired smile on his face. "The people I care about are the reason I meddle with anything." He lifted his metal arm. "This is evidence of that fact."

I looked down at my own automail, resting uselessly against my side.

"Why do you ask?" His voice was quiet, barely breaking the silence in the house.

I lifted my arm, much like he had. "This is evidence of the danger I brought to Rose's life, the danger that I will always bring as long as I'm still breathing."

He knitted his eyebrows together, then walked over to bend down in front of me and grab my iron wrist with his iron hand. "You're wrong. This is evidence of your willingness to do anything for the ones you care about. We're in the same position with different circumstances. You gave up this arm to protect Rose's life. That's more than most people would do."

I jerked my arm away. "Her life was in danger _because of me!_ I don't get credit for protecting her from something I brought about."

He smacked his right hand against against my chest, leaving it there with his fingers sprawled out. "Yes you do. You could have let her die, but you didn't. You love her, whether you'll admit it or not, and that changes people. Love and tragedy are the only things powerful enough to change people. Tragedy made you that thing you were before, and love made you what you are now, which is someone who has sacrificed _his own arm_ to save the only person he had left that cared. _You deserve something for that._ Your arm for the love of those around you. Equivalent exchange."

It was incredible that his rant could have applied to either of us.

"You really think that after all I've done, giving up _my arm_ is enough of a payment for anyone to care for me? I can never pay back those whose lives I've taken, let alone earn someone's love. I deserve to die, and that's the end of it."

His face softened once more. "You had a dream, didn't you?"

I turned to glare at the wall obstinately. "Nightmare is a more accurate description. How did you know?"

He stood up and faced the doorway. "Because I've been there. Once the guilt and the fear and every bad emotion pile high enough, they harden into a very vivid dream that presents all of your worries right to your face..."

"Sounds about right."

Edward did a half turn and looked at me with a neutral expression. "You can't let that take hold of you. Walk away from it."

My head swiveled back to face him once more. "What do you mean?"

"You can't let those fears decide where your life is going. It's not a prophecy. You can be with Rose, if that's what you want."

I stared at him, unsure what to make of the situation. "Then why aren't you with Winry?"

His face _lit up._ He turned around and started rambling loudly about how their relationship wasn't like that, that she was family, and all of the usual excuses. Insert heavy denial here.

I leaned my forehead against my hand, tightening my fist around my hair, and sighed. "Anyway, pipsqueak... Don't tell anyone about this, especially not Rose. Got that?"

"Yeah, yeah." The alchemist quickly dismissed my worries, anxious to leave the room after his affection for his mechanic being made evident once again. He left the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

That had been the most serious conversation I'd ever had with Edward Elric. It was much too heavy for my liking, but I did learn something from it. I didn't need to be defined by my past. I _was_ different. I had to remind myself over and over that I wasn't that green beast from my dream anymore. My future was open to a lot of possibilities, many just pertaining to Rose. It was scary, yet invigorating.

Who would have thought that someone as old as I was could be taught a big life lesson by a fifteen year old?

XXXXX

After Rose returned from town, we spent much of the day in her room, talking about various topics. Without our noticing, the sun had packed up and gone to bed.

"Uh oh. How late is it?" Rose asked.

I looked at the window with her. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"I don't hear anyone downstairs. They might be in bed."

"I should probably get there soon myself." I stretched, just noticing how stiff my body had become.

Her face fell a bit, evidence of her disappointment. "Tired?"

I took a moment to assess myself. "No, not really. I figured you would be."

She shook her head. "Not at all.

I rolled over onto my side, just as a crack of thunder rolled over the sky, shaking the house slightly. My stump began to ache, a now-familiar dull kind of pain. I brought my hand up to my shoulder, as if it would help ease the discomfort.

Rose put her hand on top of mine. "Are you alright?"

I smiled at her. "Of course. It's just the storm."

It must have been a relatively large storm, judging by the intensity of the pain. Over the days since I lost my arm, I'd gone through this more than a couple times, so I'd started to grow used to it. But this was entirely different. The hurt came in waves, each one seemingly worse than the last. A sweat broke over my face, and Rose attempted to keep me comfortable while the storm raged overhead.

Finally, the pain began to subside as the storm moved on. Rose wiped the salty water from my face for the millionth time, but left her hand on my cheek instead of moving it away.

I looked up at her, unable to say anything, left speechless by her beauty in the moonlight.

She, too, could not find words.

We spent however many moments just taking in the sight of each other and suddenly-

Her lips were on mine.

It wasn't the first time I'd ever kissed someone. I'd had every kind of relation humanly possible over my very long years, most of which was done out of anger or torment. My old sadist ways had ruined any bit of affection that might have tried to worm its way into things.

This kiss, however, felt like the first one. I'd never been kissed this way. The control was always mine, and the feelings of the recipient had never mattered to me. Now I was entirely conscious of every movement of my lips. It was a moment I didn't want to mess up.

Our lips moved in perfect harmony, despite my worries. A fire kindled in my chest and began to spread throughout my body. I was certain that Rose could feel the extreme warmth as she curled close to me. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. We were as close as could be without crossing a certain line...

The moment those thoughts crossed my mind, I broke the kiss.

She opened her eyes and gazed at me, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips in between heavy breaths. I realize my breathing was just as labored, if not more so. I wanted so badly to find the right words, but I was in a very unfamiliar situation. She didn't seem to have any better luck.

So we said nothing.

I reached out and brought her face back to mine. I seemed to breath better when our mouths were dancing together. The warmth in my body had eradicated all the aches that were left from the storm. She twirled her fingers in the hair at the base of my neck, and I allowed my hands to explore safe places.

We continued in this way for a while, her gracing me with her affection, me attempting to keep the force of mine under control... We fell asleep at some point, though neither of us would remember when in the morning.

I had the greatest sleep I'd ever had in my very long life that night.

 _"You can be with Rose, if that's what you want,"_ Edward's voice echoed in my mind.

 _Thank you..._


	15. Chapter 15

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX**

 **Woo! What a long break! I'm so sorry! Your reviews have inspired me though. I won't keep you waiting any longer. On to the story!**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Edward POV_

I flipped over in bed for the millionth time. I had barely slept a wink, kept up by the aches from the storm. They had been unusually harsh, and I couldn't help but wonder if Envy had experienced the same thing. Waves of pain had lashed at me all night and my body was sore, similar to how I felt after a particularly rough round of sparring.

After fighting with myself for a few minutes, I finally forced myself out of bed, only stopping to put on a pair of pants. I hurt far too much to bother with anything else.

I trudged down the stairs, my steps so heavy that I was sure the next town over could hear them. My eyes scoured each room as I walked through the house, looking to see where everyone was. I couldn't find anyone in the whole house.

My legs carried me over to the couch, where I sat and began to think. _Really_ think. So much had changed in the last year, and even though I'd had that entire year to do so, I couldn't wrap my head around it. My enemy, easily the most dangerous homunculus, was now a human living in the same house as me, eating at the same table as me, talking to myself and my friends. Not only that, but I'd found out he had been the result of my father trying to transmute his son from so many years ago. His first son.

That was the topic that really bothered me the most to think about, the one I avoided at all costs. I didn't know what to think. Everything I'd been through had led me to believe that a disembodied soul couldn't be brought back after it had already passed through the gate.

Except one thing.

Throughout the time Envy had been here, we'd had conversations about lots of things, and occasionally my father would come up. The way Envy spoke of him made my original "cheap imitation" theory hard to believe. He knew things about my father that no one could possibly know without being around him. I tried to write it off as Dante's memories, or perhaps things he'd found out through his days of spying on my father. Every theory I could come up with had holes, and I didn't like that.

I couldn't let myself accept that Envy was in fact my father's son returned to the earth. If I did that, I would be admitting that Sloth had been my mother.

I would be admitting that I'd killed my mother.

My hand came up to my face and rubbed my forehead. This train of thought was something that had been bringing great stress into my life, and I wanted to stop worrying about it. Ignoring it always worked for a while, but then when it came up again, the headache it caused was unbelievable. It also didn't help this time that I was sleep deprived.

I decided to come back to that thought later. There was nothing I could do about it now. My thoughts went to Envy's relationship with Rose. That was also something I was conflicted about, however I seemed to become more comfortable with it each day. At first I had been worried that Envy had some hidden agenda, but the way he looked at her quickly dispelled any of my worries on that front.

The next issue was one that he'd brought up himself-the amount of danger he was putting her in. I hated that he was putting her life at risk just by being around her, but I'd be a hypocrite if I believed that to be a just cause for staying away from her. I stayed around Winry and Pinako, and even let Al get into the trouble I'd brought to our lives, but I couldn't bring myself to abandon them. Winry and Granny were important to me, and Alphonse was all I had left. There was no way I could let them go.

It was clear that Rose cared for him as well, despite everything. She had learned about his past, knew of the danger that was a result of that past, and yet she still loved him. That made her either the most forgiving person, or the the most ignorant. It wasn't exactly my place to judge that, however.

Another issue that resurfaced in my mind was the ongoing fight with Mustang. He did not approve of me keeping Envy alive. He'd wanted to kill him all those months ago when he'd discovered him, the day Envy lost his arm. It had taken a lot of arguing and yelling to get him to leave that day, and even now I had to argue with him at least once a week about it. He'd call and see if I'd "taken care of the problem yet". I'd found a strategy, though. I just had to argue long enough for Lieutenant Hawkeye to get annoyed with all the yelling and she'd make him give up for the day. I wasn't exactly sure how long I could keep him in Central.

I understood his concerns. His boss was one of the few homunculi left, and no one was sure what Dante wanted with Envy. She had stopped Mustang from incinerating him, but she'd cut his entire arm off, which could have easily led to his death. She had made him human and let him wander around, which had also almost gotten him killed. She wasn't following any sort of pattern, and that was the scariest part of all of this.

 _That_ was something Envy and I had never talked about. Dante.

Perhaps we should.

I walked outside, looking around for the man in question. Across the yard, over by the trees, Envy sat with Rose. He had his arm around her, an odd thing since he normally avoided extreme amounts of contact with her. He always seemed awfully careful, but the day we talked about the nightmare he'd had made sense of that habit. Rose was leaning into the crook of his shoulder, looking perfectly at ease.

I came up behind them. Envy quickly noticed me and removed him arm from her shoulders, but left his hand lingering on hers.

"Something wrong?" Envy looked me up and down, confused.

The realization that I was only wearing pants, that my hair was hanging in clumps around my face, and that my eyes had extremely dark circles under them, caused embarrassment to swell in my chest. I shook my head.

"Did you need something?" Rose inquired, warm as always.

"Actually..." I looked at Envy. "Whenever you have a minute, I'd like to talk to you."

His jaw locked. "Alright."

"Well, you can go now, if you want. I'll watch you practice later," Rose said with a huge smile.

He stared at her for a moment, then nodded. "Okay."

We walked away, heading down the long, empty road that connects Resembool to the surrounding towns. A silence spread over us, me thinking about what to say, him probably wondering what this was about.

Finally, he broke the silence with a hard sigh. "That's it. You gotta start talking, pipsqueak."

I ignored the jab. "I'm not exactly sure how to phrase it, okay?"

"Since when do you care about my feelings? Just spit it out."

I took a deep breath. "Fine. I want to talk about Dante."

Envy stopped dead in his tracks and I heard the clank of his right hand balling into a fist. His stare was hard and full of many things. The emotion lying on the surface was well-concealed fear. Had I not spent the last year around him, I wouldn't have seen it.

"Why?" he asked through his teeth.

"I've got Mustang breathing down my neck about you. In case you don't remember, his boss, _my_ boss, is Dante's puppet."

"I remember." He glared.

"And it's a real possibility that she could come here-"

"Look, I know that I've put your family in danger-"

"That's not what I was getting at. I'm not blaming you. I'm just as guilty when it comes to bringing bad stuff home. I-"

He smacked him metal fist against my chest, pushing me back a few steps. "So what's the issue? Why do you want to talk about her?"

"I was thinking about a lot this morning, and Dante came up... No one knows what she wants. No one knows anything about her... Except you." I looked at him, keeping as sincere an expression as possible.

Envy stared at me, then began clawing at his braid. His hands were shaking. "You know enough about her."

"Apparently not. Her actions aren't making any sense to me."

"And you think they make sense to me? Edward, I don't know what she wants."

I was a little shaken from hearing him use my real name, as I always was. "Look, I just want to ask a few questions. Can you answer them?"

We found a couple of trees that provided a nice shaded area to hide in. Envy leaned against one of the trees while I sat on a nearby stump. My own stumps were aching, particularly my leg, so I started massaging the flesh above my automail.

Envy eyed me. "Did you have a rough night too?"

I nodded. "You don't look as bad."

He looked away quickly. "I, uh... I'm just better at dealing with pain than you."

My eyes rolled. "I guess."

After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "So what do you want to know?"

I thought about where to start. I had so many questions, but no words to form them with. "Well... Why do you think she did this to you?" I gestured to his human state.

Envy's eyes went to the ground, and then a million miles away. "My best guess is that she was upset with me for pursuing Hoenheim."

Mention of my father made my muscles tense. "But you've been doing that for years, right?"

He nodded. "Yes, but not as persistently as I had been around that time."

"I noticed. Why was that?"

He laughed once, short and hard. "Actually, to bait you." Envy made direct eye contact with me. "I wanted you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why?"

He shook his head. "No. We're not going down that road."

The fact that he looked like he was going to be sick made me believe that I didn't want to know.

"Okay. Why would she make such a big deal out of it?"

"She wanted to make an example out of me. It's what she does."

"Do you think she wants you dead?"

He finally looked up at me, almost with a pleading look. "I honestly don't know." Envy looked like the picture of worry as he ran his fingers through his hair. The strain on the extremely old hair band holding back his braid caused it to let loose. The braid unfurled a bit, staying loosely together at the top. He ran his hands through the rest of it, bringing his hair out of the braid and around his shoulders like a cape. "I thought so at first..."

I gave him a few minutes to calm his mind. "At first?"

His eyes moved back and forth, searching for answers. "Well, if she wanted me dead, she could have just killed me. You know the one weakness of a homunculus, that array. She had time to make the one that made me human, she could have made the one to get rid of me. And why didn't she just let the Colonel burn me alive?"

"Why was she even there in the first place?"

Envy looked back up at me, a light dawning in his eyes. "That's a good question."

"You said she likes to make examples out of her minions." I ignored the dirty look. "Maybe that's what she's doing?"

"She's always killed anyone who stepped out of line. I don't know why she'd..."

"Wait, what do you mean? She hasn't killed any of the homunculi that I know of."

"None of the one's you've known. You think that was the first Lust? There have been others. They're always replaceable."

I looked at him, confused. "Was there another Envy?"

He rolled his eyes. "That's a stupid question, Edward. You know I was the first homunculus. My death started this whole thing."

I bristled at the mention of his supposed first human life, as well as the insult. "This makes even less sense, knowing that."

Envy pulled on his bangs. "Tell me about it..." His gaze traveled back to me. "I have a question for you now."

"What's that?"

"Why were you so... Why did you want me dead so bad when you found me? I thought you were all about not killing anyone."

My heart sank. This was the topic I was most afraid of. It was an issue I'd been fighting since before this whole thing with Envy. I remembered promising myself that my path to getting mine and Al's bodies back would not involve death. But then things happened, like the situation with Nina, and my resolve crashed around me in a fiery explosion. My values felt so far away, sometimes even unrealistic. I'd hardened into someone I hadn't wanted to be, and I was trying to fix that.

He raised his eyebrow. "Not going to answer?"

I rested my head in my hand. "No, I just..."

Envy broke the silence left behind by my loss for words. "We really have caused you a lot of problems, huh?"


	16. Chapter 16

**XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan. :XXX**

 **I hope you guys are still interested in this story. I know I am. :)**

 **Enjoy!**

 _Envy POV_

I felt bad for Edward. His life hadn't been an easy one. The very short time he'd be on this earth was filled with so much pain, I wondered how he hadn't completely snapped. He couldn't explain why he'd been so intent on killing me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized he didn't need to. Life had jerked him around so much that he had to direct his anger somewhere. I more than deserved to be that target.

"I'm sorry."

Edward was just as surprised as I was at hearing those words come from my mouth. He jerked his head to face me, mouth slack.

It felt as though I'd opened some gate when I said that. "I'm sorry for being rude when you saved my life. I'm sorry that my connection to Hoenheim upsets you. I'm sorry for all the fights we've had, the injuries I've cause. I'm sorry for all of Dante's plans I've had a part in. I'm sorry about your and Al's bodies..." I stopped to take a deep breath, to steady myself. Tears were coming and I still wasn't comfortable enough with him to let him see me cry. "I'm sorry that your mother died."

His eyes opened so wide that I thought his eyes would roll out of his head. His breathing became largely uneven, and his hands shook. "Envy..." he whispered.

I put my head down, embarrassment finally taking hold of me. My hair had fallen from the braid Rose had put it in this morning, which made it easy to use it as a wall between the alchemist and I. "I'm not sure why I said all of that."

"You-"

"I mean, I know not all of that is my fault, and I shouldn't really care about some of it-"

"Envy-"

"-and I know an apology from me doesn't really mean-"

"Envy!" he yelled.

I stopped my rambling, almost grateful that he had stopped me, and peered up through the green curtain in front of my eyes. "Sorry."

He put his metal hand over his eyes, leaning forward, his whole body now shaking. After a moment, I noticed something glistening on his cheek.

"Are you crying?" I blurted out, incredulous.

The hand covering his face slammed into the stump he was sitting on, revealing the streams on his face. "What of it? So are you!"

My mouth opened to correct him, but I stopped myself. A gust of wind blew my hair behind me, minus a few strands that had stuck to the water on my face. Apparently I hadn't had the kind of control I thought I did. I allowed myself to slide down the tree I was leaning against, landing in an awkward sitting position, legs sprawled out in front of me.

Edward and I stared at each other for a while, tears drying on both of our faces. Almost in sync, we started laughing hysterically. The situation was hilarious. A little over a year ago, we had been trying to kill each other, and now...

 _Look at us. How did we get here?_

We managed to calm down, our cheeks hurting from the smiling and our eyes stinging from the crying.

I was about to make some remark about how stupid we were when it felt like ice water had been poured down my spine. I quickly pushed myself up on to my knees, facing away from Edward. My hands came together then slapped on the ground, raising a thick wall of dirt in front of us. Spikes came crashing through it, causing me to jump backwards to avoid falling rock.

The dust cleared and Dante stood in front of me, smiling.

"Dante!" Edward shouted, immediately transmuting his automail into a blade. "What do you want?"

She ignored him, looking directly at me. "Envy, your alchemy is getting better. That wall was almost tough to break."

I glared, glad that I wasn't a shaking mess on the ground like the last time I'd seen her. My confidence put a smirk on my face. "Dante, nice to see you. We were just talking about you."

"Oh? What ever for?"

"I think the more important question is, what are you doing here? What do you want from me?"

She laughed. "Even if I told you, you wouldn't give it to me."

I stood up. "Why don't you try me?"

Her eyes rolled. "I will. Not now, but very soon."

My eyes narrowed.

She took advantage of my dropped guard and attacked. The ground raised beneath me, throwing me backwards. I twisted in the air, landing on my feet. As soon as I touched the ground, another spike flew at me, tearing a gash in my thigh. I took a few steps back and dropped onto a knee, gripping my leg.

Edward ran at her with his blade. They danced around for a while, Edward swinging and missing, Dante not making any offensive moves whatsoever. Finally, she slammed her hands together, throwing him away with a block of Earth.

His body rammed straight into mine. We went flying a few feet, feeling as if we would never stop, until I felt something hit my back. Arms came around, folding under ours, keeping us from falling on our faces. I was sandwiched between Edward and whoever had caught us, and it was one of the most uncomfortable feelings. The man behind me had a presence that felt like a thousand squirming bugs.

Dante's smile turned wicked, a small undertone of fear. "Hello there, my darling."

My blood ran cold. There was only one person she used that nickname for...

Edward turned his head at the same time I did to see who had caught us. Our eyes took in the sight of our father simultaneously, both of our bodies seizing up into bundles of tense nerves.

"Let go of me, you bastard!" I screamed.

He released us, staring all the while, apparently giving no attention to Dante. Edward took a few steps back, but I went in the opposite direction. I shoved Hoenheim backwards, then threw my metal fist at his jaw. He staggered to the side, bringing his hand to his cheek.

"Hell, Jeremiah, you could have warned me you were going to hit me. And with your metal hand, too!"

Hoenheim's words shook me. One word in particular.

 _Jeremiah._

My vision went red and my whole body quaked with emotion. I couldn't decide which was the strongest. Anger, fear, sadness, grief...

"Jeremiah? Who?" Edward said, confused. Hearing it come from him made the situation worse. Anger won over.

I growled at my father. "Don't call me that! How the hell do you even know it's me? I look nothing like that kid anymore!"

"Those eyes are definitely yours, Jeremiah."

I grabbed him by the collar. "Damn it, stop! It's Envy now!"

"Why on earth would you want to go by the name of a sin?"

Dante laughed. "Because it suits him. It's a perfect fit. Now, as touching as this reunion is, I don't think I want to stick around for the rest of it." Her hands came together and a cloud of dust covered her escape.

"Damn it, that trick again?" Edward groaned. "Why was she even here? She didn't do anything."

My leg chose that moment to remind me of the large gash in it's side. I fell to the ground, taken by the surprising force of the pain. "Speak for yourself."

"She was checking on you. She wanted to see how strong you two are," Hoenheim said quietly.

"Who asked you?" Edward yelled as he landed a kick in our father's stomach.

He fell onto his back, then sat up, rubbing it. "I wish you two would stop hitting me."

"Envy!"

My head snapped to the sound of Rose's voice. She was running up the pathway with Winry.

"I'm alright," I told her as she bent down next to me.

"This wound is huge." Her voice was breathy, a result of her fear. After a moment, she sighed and relaxed, smiling. "You just love being the patient, don't you?"

I grabbed a fistful of my own hair and closed my eyes. "Believe me, I don't."

 _What the_ hell _is going on?_


End file.
